Monday, December 22, 2003

attempts, attempts

malas to talk. wanna sleep. here. monosylable speech. excellent. here is attempt2.

yours truly,
the insane and sleep deprived,

Saturday, December 20, 2003

responsibilities and attempts

If this is what it is like after SPM, I'd rather go back to school. Am given responsibilities and I can't fit into its clothes just yet. Been working abt right after SPM, so sometimes I feel a bit disgruntled. Look, look! See, see!!! Me, writin in CAPS! Excellent... this is how work trains you. Type abt 10 emails a day, answer ppl's calls, get really messed up once in a while... but it's not all that bad. Like everyone says, experience marrrrr!!! Luckily, friendly co-workers overrode my fear abt a workplace full of bitchy women. It's not like that at all. For a lot of the problems that i encountered, they helped me out of it, teaching me along the way.They are so hilarious, joking a LOT and they even watch Ranma 1/2! Now, I don't even watch that series, but the way they discussed abt it... just couldn't stop laughing. My inexperience in answering/making phonecalls is like this huge joke among them... 'cause before making calls, I would write down what to say(points la) , so I don't screw up and they were shaking with mirth, telling me when I end the call, I should go, "Yours faithfully, Gianne". Am rather solemn abt office work, but don't worry, am starting to loosen up.

anyway, enough abt work and enough with all these caps crap! lol. ahhh, how lovely to type without bloody bothering abt caps! throughout the month, was and am still v busy busy.but it's okay i suppose... quite blur now, cant think of anything intelligent to say, LOL. oh,oh! today when i got home, my hand suddenly gatal...wanting to do something on i did. i think it was spurred on by this website: . their digital art is just so amazing... they can draw so well by just using photoshop and a mouse, the images they produce would confuse one into wondering whether if it's real or if it's a photograph. anyway, here's my attempt. it does not look lifelike at all. it's not perfect. the area near her ears looks funny. the flow of hair is rather cacat. but dunno why i feel proud abt it. there ya go:

Thanks and Kind Regards,
Gianne. [this is how i always end my email msg... follow my colleagues, lol... frankly, i'd rather write, "reply asap or i'll go over to ur company and whoop ur ass with a club and throw u an anvil!". sorry, crappy joke.]

Friday, November 28, 2003


had a rift with someone yesterday, will not mention name. i had no where to turn(for comfort), and therefore turned to the classic paper and pencil(mechanic). rather dramatic. i get real dramatic when depressed and extremely poetic. this is when my eng literature studies helps me. now, understand slyvia plath's choice of death (she was a poet who killed herself... i hope i didnt get her name wrong... it's not virginia woolfe, is it? but she's a writer!). twas actually 27/11 but at 12-something am when i wrote this:

there is no escape. all the doors are bolted shut. sometimes you just want, just need to scream, but it's all closed in, and the screams are reflected back. again and again. echoes create echoes. when will it end? will i have to surrender to fate or take it upon my own hands? either way, it will bring no benefit whatsoever. all these chains...uncountable. i should bless my life for the food shoved under the doors, bless my life for the shelter this place offers me. yet i cant. the air chokes and silent walls stare. judging and watching all the time.

i always avoid thinking that money is is not. it's just stupid pieces of paper that gets you material stuff. we dont need money, but we need things that cannot be seen but felt. but what happens if you become dependent on material things? obsessed even. that is the weakness people prey upon, to threaten you, like taking it away.our security is dangered by money. money is power. at the mere sight of it, people bow.or if you argue it is not, people wouldnt go crazy when the bank declare you bankrupt and take away your television and car etc etc. bribes wouldnt happen that many. families are nice to their grandparents so that their names will be in the will. then when the will is presented after the grandparents deaths, some might not be satisfied with it. they'll go to court and bicker, forgetting the grandparents. it just hurts me so much now that gianne who once scorned at 'money is all' now succumbing to it. it's hard to admit, but it is a fact. am crying buckets now.
used to think, that things are just things and nothing more. they are bought, used and it will deteriorate. that's all to it. now i realize, if that is the case, then body are things too. they are, however, living but still is used and it will get old. therefore we need both body and things.
i really feel trapped. by circumstances and being stunted from making a choice. if i had a choice, i'd rather be an animal... it is just less complicated that way. i'm watching from inside a glass box, only able to watch and not DO. and it must be sound-proofed too. my opinions and views are blocked.

now i just feel so lonely. it's as though great many years has passed since spm. have no one but myself for comfort and it's getting bloody lonely.people, including me, does not realize how much a difference a simple touch could be. the touch may be physical, may be emotional, but it will leave a mark so beautiful it hurts. btw, am not suggesting that anyone should just come up and molest me. i really hope you get what i mean. am just so confused right now.the battle within me has not ceased and suddenly maturity(is it, really?) is flunged violently at me in all directions. you just cant take so many things in at one'd go crazy if you manage.

if you were to see me now, i'm a sight to behold. face is red, eyes bulging and shirt is wet. there's two rolled-up tissues stuck up my nose. perhaps should amuse myself and wake up family members, later, looking like this. oh yes, mechanical pencil/keyboard/blog are mycompanions when there is no one to listen to my selfish problems. and frankly, there's no other more patient a listener.

Thursday, November 20, 2003


SPM is OVER, people!!!! Hurrah! toss the books and notes out! give my hand-me-downs stuff a second/third/millionth time! floor of room can finally be seen! no more last minute studying at 4am!! all the informations in my head disappeared like a puff of smoke... smoke that tries to struggle to live from beginning to end! Here's a summary abt the last three weeks:

add maths = first paper, not that bad. second paper, have already chosen a noose. py supplied the coffins.
maths = frantic last minute studying, but did okay.
eng lit = half-vomit, half-insane-opinions. my teacher is going to chop me into pieces.
bm = took a huge risk in my essay... have no bloody idea what 'sahsiah' meant, but i could like, guess it meant 'keperibadian individu'. anyway, went on writing it, and was so relieved when my fren confirmed what it meant.
eng = oh dear, i think i did not so well in essay.... strong story, but weak style of writing. wrote abt a murder. aiks.
history = ah, my fave subject for this year. seriously. but for the 2nd paper, the moment am done reading all the questions, drew a gravestone with my name on it. could not answer ANY of the f5 questions, and took wild stabs. it's like playing naval command, lol.
moral = not much to say abt this. screwed all my moral exams upall the time, and i expect this to be the same. furthermore, i couldnt argue and debate with whoever who marks my paper.
LK = surprising, i managed. feel a bit suspicious cuz i finished with extra time. screw up elektronik though.
physics = good news: easy. bad news: didnt study easy parts. messed up in paper 2, section b and c.
chem = whatever i studied didnt drum into my head. it's the final exam, which was today. however, i read up on process haber, sentuh and ostwald, so could answer questions. this too are surprisingly easy.
[methinks for physics and chem, graf will be very very high]

that's it. thirty minutes before the final paper, was looking around grinning. after all the papers were colelcted, everyone lets out a whoop of joy. hug, hug, kiss, kiss, goodbye. oh, the second we finished that paper, fireworks sounded. it's like an omen, so glad in a way. no more government education forced upon my poor lately overworked frens and i beat up each other for the last time (lol). everybody went home, except me, as my mom says she'll pick me up. there i was, alone in the school, and i walked around the school. it will be the last time i'll be able to do that and not feel awkward abt it.

wanted to cut my hair today, but couldnt make it, however DID stuffed mself with french fries and cheesy wedges. MMMMMmmmmmmm... came home, tossing stuff now, room's floor could actually be seen,and, and... i feel kinda empty. i mean, no more rushing out to buy school text books while my mom screams at me, "why didnt u do this earlier??? procrastinate, procrastinate!!!". no more going to my grandma's shop to get pinafores with her exclaiming something like, "aiyooo... go fatter again!". no more lugging around my huge schoolbag and sometimes with a bag in my hand (looking like a makcik). have absolutely no clue what to do next. now my plan is redecorate my room, lose some weight (fat chance, haha. sorry for the pun.) and learn some new stuff.

and BUY SIMS 2!!!! well, it wont be out until next year, but still, you guys just HAVE to see it! it's utterly amazing... a new revolution. now sims have facial expressions, real fingers rather than the paddle-hands they used to have. and if a couple have a baby (this time u can either get pregnant or adopt)by pregnancy, the kid will inherit both his parent's looks! and each sims can be unique. here's a good site to go to or the official site. have fun!

Till then.

Saturday, October 25, 2003

dewey colour system

i never knew is for females. hmmm. anyway, took this test:

You're an Activist
You're well loved, giving, and affectionate. Maybe that's because you're dedicated to making the world a better place. You're not just a talker; you're a person of action. The passionate you is a fast-thinking, logical self-starter. You ask pertinent questions with a no-nonsense style. Then, you tend to blurt out the obvious. You make sure that essential needs are met and you invent better ways. The centered you can see how to direct your life toward a greater inner peace. You are able to discern exactly what you need. When all is quiet within you recognize just what you want. The emotional you needs to have fun. You can find yourself swept up in someone else's passionate adventure. Create downtime to become immersed in just you. Discover your own fun.

SPM in less than two weeks. wonder how should i feel.

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

the attack of the fleas

yes, that is right, the horrible bloodsucking creatures have taken over my home! reasons: termination of the pest control service and the fact that my bro didnt bathe our three dogs outside for like, 5 weeks (it's his job, me chips in if he asks nicely), and it seems like it's the ticks breeding during the past four days (saturday,sunday, monday, tuesday... didnt go to school for two days), i ended up plonking myself in front of the dogs, picking fat fleas and dropping them into a jar of turpentine. once done, i set the turpentine with fleas on fire. bro and i would watch the fire with great satisfaction.ahhh... sweet revenge. especially the fat ones that drain my doggies' blood. the next day, we bathe the dogs and sprayed the house with flea repellent... there were a lot that sneaked into our living room and kitchen, so if u ever visit me, u might find my whole family at the floor searching for those god-blasted fleas and with a mini dustpan in our hands. it's so geli... i have to kill them with my fingernail and black goo will spurt outta them. yuck. and these days, all of us here are getting p[retty jittery, and often dash off to the bathroom and take a shower, just in case. but btw, dog fleas cannot bite into human skin... so it's okay la... but me fear that it will crawl into my ear. anyway, by this week, am positively sure we can search and destroy all of them. wish us luck! u have no idea how many buckets we have used to spray the house with flea repellent.

next topic! for my birthday, i've gotten a tropicana life wallet(haha, finally a wallet that i can fit my cards into), a book on dog crafts (this is absolutely cute), a box of lotsa chocolate(i love my cousin), a notebook, a soft toy turtle(milo loves it loads... she keeps running away with it), glow-in-the-dark butterflies(once repaint room, will have loads of those on my wall!), a hematite necklace(promotes self-confidence, hmmm), a watch , wind chimes (scary when sounded at night) and those sand time-turners. my parents didnt give me anything on bday, cuz i used up my bday pressie throughout the year... like my mom bought me the harry potter 5 and my bro gotten me a dog and a new motherboard, my dad bought pizzas... lol.

i guess i have nothing else to say, SPM is two weeks away and havent touched most of my books yet. ta then.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

linkin park rules!!!!

omigod, can't believe this... been to a linkin park concert(yesterday!), and it was so friggin awesome! oh man, i want to rewind my life back to yesterday so i could watch them again! throughout the concert, was screaming, shouting, singing, jumping, dancing and waving my arms in the air like a madwoman! i only know their famous songs, like in the end, somewhere i belong, numb, faint, papercut, crawling, one step closer, etc. there were some songs that am so blur to... 'cause i have not their album and am a great believer in radio (as it has more variety).anyway, i might get their albums (not pirated ones)in january where CD prices will drop to a much much more reasonable price. and am buying original, 'cause they deserve it.

anyway, bought the RM127, but unfortunately it's neither mosh pit nor celcom inner circle, as am underaged, so have to settle for the reserved seats. the good thing is, i need not drag my ass there at 4.00pm to push and shove for good seats. asha, charlene and i arrived there abt 7.30pm. the place outside the stadium were filled with stalls selling drinks, food (including chestnuts and kacangs,lol) and LP merchandise. it's so pasar malam... and these ppl are so rip-off-ers. it's like every item there is overcharged by 200%. for example, a simple mineral bottle would cost RM 2-3, where outside, you can get it at 80 cents or RM1.

entered the stadium (after the guards confiscated our bottles), and found our seat. i actually intended to scare lean chiew from the back, but that idiot turned at the last second. so all of us waited for the concert to start. meanwhile, we saw utt, and sarah tan from mtv or channel v (cant remember) in the celcom circle, and we also plotted ways to get a clearer view of stage, which among the "good" ideas is to wallop the policemen unconscious and don their outfits.

8.40: too phat came on, and that's when we stood up and cheered. a lot of ppl from the front row moved forward, because we didnt exactly get a good view if we sit down
9.10: told by security guards to sit down, because ppl behind refuse to stand up and doesnt want to see our arses. so we sat, but unwillingly. i hate our section. too phat stopped performing (it's a hip-hop band, btw, with breakdancing etc)
9.30: still sitting, and linkin park came on stage... it was sooo awesome, and since we couldnt stand up, we danced and sang and yelled from our seats. they were so excellent and chester was like, "malaysia boleh!"
9.35: when the first song finished, ppl in the mosh pit were starting to feel dizzy and faint. one after another, were carried out to the tracks to get a breather and to recover before they return.
9.40: by the third song, asha and i were like, so pissed because the ppl behind us are like sooo dead, they didnt stand, didnt yell, and shouldnt had come at all. then we spotted, on our left, a much hippier section where loads of ppl were yelling, jumping, dancing and yes, standing of course. immediately, we left our seats and went to boogie there and ENJOY. those ppl stting are INSANE i tell you! so fucking pissed!

the concert ended at abt 10.45-11.00pm, and it's one of the most mindblowing, stress buster and bloody FANTASTIC concert i've ever been to. they sang abt 15++ songs, and we didnt want them to go at ALL.haha, and one of my fave part of the concert was when chester asks the crowd to shout "GO AWAY" and gotten a lukewarm response. it seems like the audience thought that LP is asking us to tell them to blah. LOL, even chester smiled(it was on the big screen) amusedly. but then they started on the song which contains the words "GO AWAY!!!" and the audience understood. i think every song that they sing, we sing (shout) it back to them. during the songs like numb, faint, somewhere i belong, in the end, etc, i yelled my head off and i whistled and i jumped like hell! my voice was so hoarse at the end of the day, but it's so worth it. i cant believe i saw LP live!!!

am really jealous of celcom inner circle, as at the end of the concert, LP threw drumsticks (for drums, not KFC) to the crowd and even threw guitar pics to them! right off their hands! i feel a bit pity for too phat though, cuz they were booed cuz they performed too long and they didnt sing a lot of their famous songs. they're a local band, pretty good, but everyone was there to see LP. at some point, in the middle of the concert, chester said, "oh, i know u like too phat better than us..." or something like that, and EVERYONE yelled, "NO!!!". i wonder how is too phat feeling. after all, they are our local band, and we should support them.

LP are truly musicians that will make a mark in this century (in a good way, of course!), and i have a feeling that they'll be around for a long long time .(HURRAH!)

on the way out, we saw asha gill... didnt get her autograph though. so my friends and i started the walk to my parents' car... we were so full of adrenaline and the best thing to do after a concert is to go clubbing. however, we cant (yet) and the clubs would be pretty dead on a wednesday night. anyway, we felt like salmons swimming upstream the river, cuz loads of ppl were coming from opposite direction. i met some of my friends, like sharmini, wai mun and corinne. havent met corinne for like, two years, and it's pretty cool to meet her again!

i slept at 2am that night(morning) and woke at 6.30am to go to school. limbs feel very erm, tired. discuss excitedly with a fellow friend who went to concert too, and sang LP songs throughout the day... fell asleep during chemistry class, luckily shebby (chem teacher) didnt splash me with natrium hidrokside or something.

it was my birthday on monday, but my fingers are too tired to tell u all abt my recent life. will continue some other day.

till then,

[here's me and me frens in the beginning of the year, when i was in the volley team and look like a lobster (at least i was thin!)]

from left: sze jun, moi,anushia

Thursday, October 02, 2003

ah, fluck it

i shall just keep my mouth zipped. i'm sure u guys are so sick of my excuses and empty promises. anyway, i'll sum up my current state of life >>
= trials over

= papers returned, am launched into verbal arguments and debates with teachers, especially for moral

= also begging and grovelling resulted, and my effort did pay off! from B3 to A2, from C6 to C5 and from B4 to B3. hey, better than nothing, rite?

= gave a surprise party for my friend in school. we bought her a cake and a two year subcription for the Pet's World magazine. she LOVES those. at first we told her that we bought her skimpy polka dots bikini and we had to order in her size but in the end, we told her the truth.

= ah, during trials, encountered weirdest coincidences.
- before Physics Exam, witnessed a very close car crash. motorcyclist thrown into the air. during exam, question abt impact of a car crash came out.
- during BM exam, wrote abt unreliable public transport and the fact that they never come on time and make us poor citizen wait desperately. later, wanted to catch a bus to tuition and it seems like metro bus was on strike or something. friends and me stranded in front of school for an hour and a half till fren got her dad to take us to tuition centre. 5 person in the back and three in front. and we're talking proton wira here people!

= went to great eastern mall, and they have this fabulous pet shop! they have clothes for dogs, great number of toys and tidbits... so my family bought lots for our dog and a shirt for milo! she's utterly adorable. utterly spoilt in fact. aunt got her a new collar that goes 'I'M SPOILED'. now my aunt cant read a single word of english, but she's right

= am going to linkin park's concert! not really a fan, but am familiar with their music. will be a stress unwinder or something. 15 Oct. two days after me bday (*hint hint*). anyway, me fren charlene helped me and my friend get the tics.

since i like to waste time, here's my question 3 for my trial eng exam. this is what i wrote (question: "i could hardly believe my eyes....") with adjustments that i couldnt add during the time limit of exam. hate directed writing. hate summary. oh, oh, right...:


I could hardly believe my eyes. The girl was standing in front of me, anxiously awaiting my reaction. She was fiddling with the many bead bracelets that adorned her wrist, and I knew she was nervous and worried at the same time. For the first minute, I was speechless, but finally, I found my voice and invited her in. As I rushed to the kitchen to make a tea for two and perhaps, some biscuits out of the tin, the girl's greeting when I answered the door repeated in my mind.

"Miss Kay? It's me, Louise, your daughter."

Then memories engulfed me in its darkness.

Seventeen years ago, I got involved in the outcast crowd. We were constantly waging war against society, as we felt that they were narrow-minded, unable to accept differences and uncaring. Perhaps it is because we had never experienced a kind gesture from anyone else other than our group of friends. All of us originated from troubled backgrounds. I, for one, had a terrible childhood and I finally ran away with this group of friends. We had a great dream; to start a new life. However, we lack the intellect to survive in the working world. We had the common sense and yes, the wisdom of suffering, but we cannot survive just on that. Our freedom was ephemeral. One after another succumbed to the lure of drugs and prostitution. I did not get into drugs nor prostitution, as I found a man whom I thought was wonderful for he gave me food, shelter and the love I never had. To me, he was my saviour. But as weeks turn into months, he turned abusive. I suppose that they were right when they said the abused are attracted to abusive people. Yet I did not leave him because I lived in an illusion that he was the one I have been searching my whole life.
One day, I found myself pregnant. When I told him, he became furious and struck me on the head, and kneed me in the stomach. As I lay wounded on the floor, I finally realized that I must get out of this relationship. For the second time in my life, I ran away. A friend pitied me and took me under her wings.
Eight months later, I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. I named her Louise and used my surname. Then I gave her up for adoption. It was my first wise decision in my life, as I had no home, no stable income and no means to support my child. The last thing I knew of my child was that a well-off family had adopted her. I felt both glad and yet depressed.
I did not regret my actions during my younger days. We were all but humans seeking acceptance and love. Throughout the years, I tried to not think of Louise but it had been so hard...

The whistling of the kettle brought me back to my present state, and before I left the kitchen ,I wiped the tears off my face and entered the living room where the girl, Louise, is sitting. I sat next to her and at a split second, I noticed our resemblance. I apologised to her. Without warning she burst into tears and hugged me, and I embraced her back. No words can express our feelings. This is my daughter.


Thursday, August 14, 2003

Erm, I plead guilty for neglience

... neglience or how it is spelt anyway, i forgot. will look it up in oxford later. speaking of which, actually if we can't spell a word, why do we search for it in the dictionary? it's not like we know how the arrangement of letters in that particular word...

yes, yes, i know, i know, there's cobwebs surrounding my blog and i'll just blame it on my star sign, which is libra... haven't you heard of lazy librans? well, now you do =). Gawd, feel so awful towards blog! and readers, if i have any left, LOL. sorry la, here, this is me foot in living room.

yes, living room messy. reason: kuachi-eating and i think the white thing on the right is a sock.

hmm... to put everything in a summary, the time of me life that fill the huge gap from my last blog entry and this current one is pretty interesting. interesting, not necessarily enjoyable, but heck, what's life without problems anyway? actually from beginning of july till mid-july, everything is peachy and absolutely great! hehe, hate to sound show-offy, but my bro got a nice business deal (or accumulated commision, i forgot) and had some $$$ to spare. so to me he gave his CPU (but new motherboard), which i think is practically God, as it is wayyyy faster than my old one, which if compared, is a retarded snail(old CPU) to a leopard (new CPU!). hurrah! no more attempts to smash screen or kick CPU down the stairs or similiar!!! furthermore, am an avid CG (computer graphics) designer, so need fast, good and non-hanging pc.

now, by this time, am already at my knees, bowing to my brother. THEN one day, came home from tuition and my mom rushed to me, face all panicky, going, "gianne! run up to ur bedroom and get this red file! it's very urgent, hurry, hurry, hurry!!!!" so, ran like life depended on it, and went into my room. eyes scanned room. saw no damned red file! just as the thought that my mom is starting to show senility, something brown and tiny scampered across the bed. for a mo', was damn blur, and was thinking, "chocolate?" then when realized what it was, i think i positively squealed. the 'thing' finally sat still and it looked like this : was a pup! looks more like a kancil/deer (shit, should had called her bambi or something), and she was standing on these long spindly legs that looks so fragile. initially, my first thought, shit, she's ugly! but i ran over to hug the pup anyway... a dog is still a dog, and just as lovable as any other. she did look extremely adorable with her wide innocent bambi eyes. my cousins who came home with me, took a glance at the pup and went, "who's the demon!" my bro came in, saying, "the dog is yours." and just couldnt believe it until my mom confirmed it. well, hey, there were visitors downstairs, so i thought the pup was theirs. then my mom and bro told me to name her watever i want to, it's in my hands. so i went, "shoshanna." you should have seen the expression on their faces! as if i decided to name her "shit" or "poo face" or something. anyway, she was dory for three days, when my mom and bro said, "no way!" and they named her milo. harrumph! so much for giving me the honour to name her.

it is now about more than a month since i got her, and found out that she's very innocent when she's sleeping. heck, i love her anyways. oh, btw, she's a miniature pinscher. now i have a total of four dogs. will show you guys their pic some other time. and u know the sock in living room picture? it's her chew toy. it's clean, dont worry, haha. another pic!

about two weeks back though, my mom took a fall on her head really late at night. we had to call an ambulance, and at that time was crying and crying, because one of my friend's mom just recently passed away and was starting to imagine horrible things. she couldnt open her eyes and slipped in and out of consciousness. As for the ambulance that came... I seriously think he's an ex-Metrobus driver. why?
- drove extremely fast (v. good)
- accelerate at corners
- runs through red light
- often brakes suddenly
- flies in mid-air when goes over a bump
nevertheless, my mom got to the hospital really quick and started vomitting. Doctor says it's common for those who suffered concussions in the head. She went through a CT scan, etc etc, and to our relief, she's all right. and you know something? her fall is really a blessing in disguise. You see, the doctors discovered something totally unrelated to her fall. they found some growth very near her left eye and brain. no, no, it's not cancer, but it's great that this is discovered early, or else come complexity may appear. i always believe that my mom is protected by this unknown forces... everything happens for a reason, and i'm glad for that fact. am also that these problems are overcomed and those in it emerge stronger and more united. sure, not trying to be miss perky, we DO get depressed when challenges looks at us in the face. in life, we're survivors. i love life.

ah, yes, everything returned normal... where normal can mean a lot of things.

besides that, am addicted to computer. must stop this habit quick because in less that four months, am going to have a torturous time in exam hall... 'important' exam. results shall 'determine' my life path. seriously,think 11 years of education is a complete waste.well, not really, or else wouldnt had found good and nice friends =).maybe exaggerating, education IS good in some ways, it doesn't leave one in a bliss of ignorance. if one is an ignoramus,she/he/it will be free food for the hungry real world.

anyway, will sign off here, and will sincerely try to update blog more often!

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Strange ponderings

     One time, well, many times to be honest i would nod off in the car and am always awaken by the sudden jerking of the volvo as it speeds over potholes and bumps, and i would wake. It's amazing how the world looks like then. At first, everything seems blurred. Then everything would make itself appear from the uncertainty, and the way it blends out is beautiful, and in that split second, i would feel as thoughi was in another era, long time ago;the colours look a bit off and the blast from the air conditioner stings your eyes.In that precious second, i would feel contented and glad for i am home. As quickly as it comes, it exits at the same speed, and i am left in the real world with all the colours perfect and i would realise, "the year is 2003 and i'm solid."

;    i think i had been born in the wrong era. The cause? An angel who messed up my 'life files'? If so, she/he would be a trainee, stumbling over orders and trying to keep up with the flow, all the while hoping to gain a halo. If she/he is damn good, a great pure white wings will be given. The white flowing robe will be inserted with this attractive package. They will be overjoyed i guess, because wings are only given out every one thousand years or more. i wonder if they ever longed to be here on Earth.

;    Or maybe i lived the era before, and was reluctant to leave that life. What remains now is the lingering air of constant longing, that whispers ever so softly that i'm not in the right time. i am torn between the old world and the new. half of me would like to stay in a cave and grunt as a mean to talk... alright, i'm not that bad. well, half of me wants to see the world when there is no pistols or snipers, where the only long distance weapon would be a dart or arrow. to live in a simple cottage and electronical stuff havent been invented. then the other half, chases modern life and to constantly upgrade myself. Where i love the complicity of life. It's like being torn by two forces, in opposite directions, and a hole will appear in my middle someday.

;    Few years back, an advice was given to me: Be aware of the thin line between fantasy and reality. I scoffed at it then, yet now I find myself happier in dreams than in reality. To retreat in this comfy shell of mine keeps me going on. It could turn into a bad thing, obviously, but it's hard to resist the temptation.

;    i would like to consider myself as an odd jigsaw(i'm sure a lot of you out there do too). am still searching for my place, where i am the final missing piece, everyone would be waiting for my return, after i wandered away, to complete the big picture.

;    we all belong somewhere, people, it would be a sin for you to feel insignificant in this big, big world. i like being a pessimist at times, so i wouldn't get a huge disappointment if something in life goes wrong. but let me tell u this, being an optimist keeps you in brighter light. i heard this story from my friend about this girl who was gang-raped, she did felt awful initially but she turned her life and people's views around. When asked how did she feel about this whole thing, she said, "Well, I feel powerful." Puzzled looks. "Never in my life am I desired so much and everyone was fighting to get to me. They are even willing to commit a crime. it makes me feel like I am worthy." And everyone knew she would heal. It's a 360 degrees way to look at life, but isn't it better? No matter how weird, it depends on how you get on with life.

If someone throws a ball at you, you can't just hang on to it. Sometimes you must let go.

Thursday, June 19, 2003

Am Right Hemisphere Dominant!

Heh, I mean, the brain and not planet Earth... anyway, I find it eeriely accurate, unlike Emode's fun but just for fun tests. Although I think the word 'slightly' for disorganized is a sinful understatement. Any hoo...


Auditory : 50%
Visual : 50%
Left : 33%
Right : 66%

Gianne, you are moderately right-hemisphere dominant and have even preferences between auditory and visual processing, traits that might make people perceive you as "slightly off balance."
You are most likely to be slightly disorganized, a "dreamer" and a person who focuses more on the end result than the immediate task at hand. You are creative and spontaneous if somewhat lacking in direction and focus. You are a learner who is generally patient and a person for whom time is an ally, not an enemy.
You are more passionate than most people with regard to life and learning and recognize your own intuitive abilities. You have sufficient goal-direction to satisfy yourself and guarantee success without being or feeling driven. You are willing to be reflective about yourself and others without getting lost in rumination.
The balance of your sensory modes allows for both learning and expressive capabilities achieved by few. You are active and "seeing" while retaining an equally strong propensity for being reflective which slows you down a little but allows for a more comprehensive perception and analysis of situations and problems. You do not spend excessive time analyzing since you mostly trust your perceptions.
In all likelihood, you have a tendency to overcommit and cannot under- stand why others get upset since you operate on a different "time table" than they do. Your organizational abilities are frequently overwhelmed by the stimulation seeking and active nature of your mind as well as by the tendency to create new categories and gloss over details, making categorization and classification almost impossible at times.
To the extent that your career path allows for creativity and abstraction as well as a bit of disorganization, you should find yourself equipped to handle any learning that is required. Your own personal adjustment to your style should come naturally although you are likely to feel frus- trated by your own limited discipline and often wonder "Why?"


...You want? You like...? Well, you ain't getting it!
Bleks, just kidding, click here and inform me of ur results! =P. Have fun!

Sunday, June 15, 2003

Two Weeks in One

Alrite, this was supposed to be posted about a week back, but i'm such a lazy pig hippo. Well, last week was the school holidays and it's now over *sob!* Actually I planned to study 24/7, but all I managed to achieve was getting myself addicted to the internet. I just can't seem to drag myself away from it, as if a strong magnets of opposite ends. Hmmm, I thinkit was mainly because I'm trying to design a cover for my school magazine, just to try my luck... All seems to turn out crappy. If you want to see AKA ke-po-chi / 5+3, here's the links to a few of the satisfactory ones.

Original | Re-Touched = the HAND! *gasp*
Original | Re-Touched = Crop Circles? *alien shakes head*
[the two above is not done yet...]
Original = did this for fun, not for magazine

I've posted them at this forum where everyone is going, "Oh, it's a good attempt...". OOOHHHH, detest the word attempt now. Yes, do agree design aint professional enough, but no point beating around the bush about how they hate it. However, they are kind enough to give me tips on how professional stuff looks like and me do appreciate it. Am really in the donkey situation now though. Trying to please people everywhere, meaning. Ready to give up liau, as really suck in symbolism, and prefer scenes like the seaside, forest, etc. Furthermore, love colours but am tied down by school's traditional two-colour cover (blue and black, like getting a shiner). LOL, didnt not know that last year and did this. Well, it looked better in my noodles/brain, yet i suppose it's close enough, based on my skills. Am still in high school, forgive me.


Ah, back to social life, lol. Last week,on Tuesday, I went with my happy 'family' to Sunway Pyramids.... Happy 'family' meaning my schoolmates ; Mun Ling ('Supreme Nanny'), Sze Jun (my 'niece'), May Hwa (also my 'niece') and Puvi ('Nanny'). Am Aunty G! LOL. Anyway, they are all from the same class and a lot of peeps from their class were there too, methinks it's their class gathering. Oh what the heck, was not the only alien there, lol. So first thing we did was MAKAN! Ate at McD's and had the Finding Nemo ValueMeal [however, now wished I had ordered a Happy Meal, 'cause there would be Finding Nemo talking toysin it, EEE!]. We went ice-skating next, and it was hilarious. [But, Puvi didnt skate] I mean, yes, have gone a couple of times, so knew how to do so, but it's my friends' first time on it. They fell a couple of times, which is typical, but they deserve a cheer for braving the ice! Hip hip HURRAH! For first timers, they're pretty good. Compared to my first trip to ice-skating rink anyway... one step, PLOP!, one step, PLOP! Other than that, the boys were extremely funny. Not trying to put them down or anything, but they are really sticking to the sides. One time, my friend and i were skating towards this friend of ours, KW, who was standing still and not moving, and when he saw us he said," ...Don't touch me...". We almost pissed ourselves laughing and almost fell. Hah, balasan... Finally after two hours of skating, we decided to stop. Our feets hurt like crap, because for two hours, we've been wearing ill-fitting skates that are two sizes smaller than the size of our feet. It was really tight (doh.) We didnt feel it while skating though, and walking and massaging feet cures the aches. After we were all out from the rink, we headed for the sticker booth and had humongous fun doing poses and changing the background curtains etc. The result? Well, here's our favourite, the DOKI-DOKI! (anyone who knows the meaning,please tell me, lol)

from left: may hwa, me, mun ling and sze jun

haha, a quote from mun ling about this, "overgrown babies learning to walk on ice."

The next day, on Wednesday, went out with PY and 4 of her friends, which includes Amelia. They had looked extremely familiar, and I wondered why. Turns out, had met them before, in form 3, when I hung out with PY at this Hari Kantin in VI. Then we watched FINDING NEMO! Truth to be told, when I first heard of this movie, I didn't pay attention to it... what's so fun about some stupid fish that got separated from his overprotective father? But rave reviews made me rethink. And now I am in LOVE with that movie, and it's more than a stupid fish, but contains strong msgs. Here you laugh and cry and be awed by the amazing graphics. I daren't tell my fave parts, cuz some who would view this blog might not have seen it. dont wanna spoil it, lol. My fave character is Dory though, and i bought some cereal just because they had a Dory toy that can swim, LOL. HappyMeals, coming next! Their Dory toy speaks whale-language!!! My friend has the HappyMeals's Dory toy and one day at 3am, she was half-asleep when suddenly the toy started whale-talking. Scared the shit out of her, lol. Anyway, those who hadn't seen the movie, GO SEE IT.

One more thing, why does Disney always kill one parent or both off? Hmmm...

After the show, PY and I went jalan-jalan in KLCC and her friends went the other way. We walked and talked and window-shopped. Then we took a rest by ordering drinks and resting tired feet. PY order some drink starting with the letter 'C' and it was damn SOUR. it's like *sip* =screw up face= *gulp*=screw up face and bang fist on table=. It would prolly be nice for pregnant ladies then...

Ah, that's my week for you. In school, nothing much has happened, other than getting back our exam papers. I think I've done pretty well... unfortunately, teachers thought I cheated(HARUMPH!). Pretty funny actually... i mean, when i get low marks, i get glares for not scoring in their exams, but when i scored, they said i cheated. Yet i could not blame them, because firstly, i never studied for exams, but this one was an exception. Secondly, schools around KL got the same paper set by some Jabatan and they're really stupid in the sense that the timetable for the exams are different for each school. So those school who had done certain papers first, would hand the questions to those who hadn't sit for the exam yet. Tada, memorize and basically just xerox.

Besides that, myclass must be really terrible to our maths teacher, because she brought in someone to shake some sense into us. And of all people she had to complain to, she chose our principal, who is famous for her long and repeated (same points over and over again) speeches. Actually it's about the homework, we dont hand it up on time... So those who did their homework had to suffer too. Hmmm... now Maths teacher has new ammunition : "Keep quiet or else!" And knowing what the "else" would be, and not wanting to sacrifice another recess for the "else's" cheong-hei-ness, we just do as she says. Used to like that teacher; shy and teaches. But she was front-stabbing us, and the whole scene is pretty corny and as if out from the book. Part of me says "she has a reason to do so! how a teacher suffers!" and another "yet as a human, she should try talking to the class first and most prolly we would understand what she is going through". Some of the students who did the h/w felt hurt and pissed of course. She ought to pull the wrong-doers aside and tell them off instead of what she did.
Ai, in the middle, as a human and a student, two diff opinions.

current obsession:
now adores: CGs!
height: taller than bouncy choo =P
weight: resuming martial arts practice...

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

excuse my procrastination

Before I begin, I would like to extend my apologies to visitors to my blog. *AHEM*

Firstly, you have experienced the famous habit of moi. Procastination. Speaking of which, once my mom got so pissed off at this inborn talent of mine, and sentenced me to write the word(sorry for the bad pun) 'procastination' around 1000-10,000 times. That was three years back, and I never got to even getting out a paper. The irony of the whole thing! -lol-
Secondly, for the fruity appearance of blog... resembles a watermelon, doesn't it? I pointed it out to my dad, and he was embarassed. Yousee, my brother and I has uncovered the greatest archeology find ever in the Yap household... parents' old photographs! There's this one where he was decked out in a red shirt and green bell-bottomed pants. And I'm talking NEON BRIGHT! Haha, come to think of it, the inability to match colours has been passed down (or up,we're never sure)! Ah, I wonder if MY next kin will hoot and laugh like little hyena brats once they see my teen fashion. Oh my god, dont even let me get started on how stupid I look sometimes. Not that I know it at that time,because it can be so fun dressing up and experimenting. Sometimes I look back in pictures and I think, that's ME. Pure me. This is what I had liked before. Though I laugh and blush, I love these memories. Wish I could visit my 15 year old self, show her the picture, laugh hysterically, then come back to this year. What shall I do if I see another me? I think I might beat the hell out of erm,me. Er. Drop this. I'm getting confused... if I cant understand what the hell I'm talking, neither could you. Anyway,had the hippie phase (beads, head band, hemp stuff, name it), 'sexy' phase and currently crazy and colourful phase.

Erm. Done with apologies. LOL.

Back to current life, it's holidays now, and had received one leaked exam score [LKJ]by a friend ofmine. Don't worry, I will not disclose your name, right, Lean Chiew? Mwahhaahha.
I didn't know that last year was such a fun year for me. Maybe it's due to the fact that it's 'honeymoon' year, fun classmates, getting to know big ears and so on. Haha, hobbit sent me our past chat transcript, and there were some forgotten F4 experiences:

There was this lil Girl Guide who followed me around the school compound for a hour after school and I didnt even know, until she came up and asked for my signature to confirm my... activities. Included in the list, a damn long list at that too, because I was restless that day and because someone let my airplane go (er, cantonese term 'fong ngo ge fei kei'). Anyway, you should see the list, which includes: "Jalan sana sini. Berfikir. Duduk di koridor. Minum air water-cooler. Menari. Menyanyi. Melompat-lompat." Hilarious I tell you.Then as I signed to confirm it (it's some initiation to join girl guide:follow someone), I told her, "You know, I walked a lot..." and she replied with a straight face, "I know."

And loads more. Or the time, after waiting for four hours for my dad to come home for dinner, my mom got fed up for reminding him (he goes "will be back in a hour." and "coming coming" and still not sight of him for hours.and the food my mom cooked was getting all cold and we have to wait for him to eat together), and told me to call and scold him instead (all of us at home were very p/o). Moreover, he refused to answer all calls from home. So I marched over to the phone, pressed the redial button and the moment the person on the next line answered(ahah! he answered!), I unleased the pissed-offness. "DAD! We've been waiting for you for FOUR hours, and the food is all cold. If you cant come home on time, then dont keep us waiting! It was 4 when we called you, and you said you're near the house! Now it's 8pm, and there is no sight of you! We're all sitting around the table like dungus, watching the food, not eating, waiting for ur arrival!" And on and on I went. Finally I stopped. Then a scared reply came: "Uh.What dinner? What home?" Anyway, turns out that my bro had called his friend after my mom called my dad. I turned white and slammed down the phone and went, "Oh. SHIT." Well, the good thing that came out of this was that when my mom and bro heard what happened, the whole moody and angry mood vanished and soon we were all rolling on the floor laughing. Then my bro's friend sms-ed him. My bro explained, with me saying sorry, sorry in the background and still laughing. And a direct quote from his friend, "Hak gao sei ngo..." (Scared the shit outta me). Anyway, it's a blessing in disguise, because if it was really my dad, he would had whalloped me once he got home. Horrible tempers should be controlled.

Ah. BTW, tried painting the other day. This is the result.

current obsession: need to clean room. it's a disgrace
now adores: CGs!
height: am taller than mum!
weight: getting fatter... stopped exercising

signing off,


Thursday, May 08, 2003

Bloody fawks...

The title explains everything. And no, am not talking about Dumbledore's bird. It's me trying to be nicer on my blog, ahahaha. Like it will last. Ah, see! Going off topic as usual, and to think i have so much to write now when my time is limited... Life is ironic, man. By the way, let me continue.

Oh my GOD, tomorrow is my History exam and it's 9pm and have not yet even touched the Form 4 text book. I'm so going to die. Physics today is a total waste of time... the only thing I managed to do properly in the paper is my silent written screams and nice doodles. Hmm... maybe should post that up. Well, an advice to you people out there... 10 hours is NOT enough to cramp two years of knowledge. Have been doing that for the past week... now me look like an overworked panda(bags under eyes) 'cause sleep at 2.30am (went to bed at one, but couldnt seem to sleep) and wake up at 6am. So if you happen to see me with protest flags sticking out of my ears? That will be my brain mogok-ing.

Ah, and other than knocking my head against the wall, my day's events consist of only one entry (which is not related to school). Saw my ex-crush today... was about 2 or 3 years ago when was infatuated with him. He remembers me, and I him but we both pretended not to know each other. lol. actually, if am still in likes with him, am abled to see him every school day... his school is right in front of my house. Today, I went out on the street to flag a taxi for my mom, and the every same moment, students streamed out from the gates and so tada. After all these years and he's still chubby, lol. Hmmm... I remember why was infatuated with him.. he LOOKS so innocent! Oooooh, when he saw me, it's like 'terkejut' and he stared. Okay,okay, have a confession. If I like someone, I simply could not take my eyes of them. And most of my crushes WOULD know that I like them. Fawk. But I was so cool this afternoon, mwahahahaha. A total stone fox! Haha, yea right.

current obsession: omigod, omigod, off to history!
now adores: need... SLEEP! =walks zombie-like=
height: do you suppose a fox is taller than me?
weight: i think stress ate some of my fats. YAY!

Saturday, May 03, 2003


Life is woeful. Why do I have a brother, and an extremely irritating one, at that too? It takes a great deal of patience to live with this person, and it's all I could do than to march over and register a tornado slap on his face. You seriously cant try to be nice to him. After the stuff I had to do the whole day, and I brought up his folded clothes at him, went out and sat down here to test some image editting stuff. A minute later, something was thrown at my head ("Your socks, you dumbass!"). And before that, was helping him call this number about the streamyx connection, which I had sincerely no clue about, and obviously, don't understand a hell the guy was saying. So called nice-and-polite brother over and he utters every single vulgar word in the dictionary and some I didnt even know existed. The guy on the other line must be getting an 'education', while I fumed. Arsehole, arsehole, arsehole.

As I said, all this needs a bloody-fucking temperature control and calmness. Yesss.... inner calm. Forget the physical world and indulge in some mind-healing acts! Here we go: Ohmmmmmm-hatehim-mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I'm healed.

Alright, I have no idea why your eyes reached here based on crappiness above. Hmm... had neglected this blog of mine for days! Unless something rage-worthy happens in me life. Maybe should change the name to "Attack of Internet-Raging Girl" or "Blabber of the Insane&Angry" or "World of Crappiness Rage" or "Depressed Rants Blog" or similiar. Anyway, day's happenings.

Went to cousin's house for Add Maths tuition and found out that one of his friends have been calling me 'Dwarf'. Hmm... add that to my list of "Midget" and "Hippo" and "Ninja Turtle Face". But am plotting a comeback against him... don't mind if friends call me that, and he's not. Has been criticising friends too. Looked like such a 'good' boy, konon la.

In relation to demented mind: The other day, saw this lorry on the road with the words "Barang-Barang Panjang" on the back of it. You know those lorries that carry the construction stuff and usally have a red hankerchief tied at the end as a warning to drivers behind the vehicle? Well, suddenly imagined guy friends, all standing in a row on the back of the lorry with the sign changed to "Barang-Barang Pendek".

For Visual Support=P

Not that I have seen theirs before, but just found it funny. Have to find life amusing, or else, shall dive into a bottomless hole filled with empty chocolate boxes (oh, the torture). Ooh, yes, I had 'loads' of time, so here am I. Should dedicate my time studying for next week's mid term exam, but I'm a bloody procastinator. I will, after this. It's my brother's fault. If he didnt spark off my mood, would had my head buried in add maths and history. I study most for history. But the irony is that always get the lowest mark in that subject. Love reading History, but to memorize Suryavarman's temple properties and the Portugese's journey into the East is another. Love Add Maths when know how it is done.

current obsession: interpretting tarot cards
now adores: sleeping
height: dwarf! =sob!=
weight: don't want to give a flying fuck

Thursday, April 24, 2003


The day sucked. It had been a great morning, but destroyed by horrible afternoon. Currently am v. upset and distraught. basically the same thing, but shall reenact afternoon's events rather dramatically.

To start the whole thing off, will explain a bit about situation. A large flourescent sign of "D'OH", yeah, i know. So anyway, am a vice-president of this computer club in school, aka CyberBrigade. I have no reason why there's this 'drive' inside that wants to make the club... something. Better. Greater. Most-Wanted in KL. Right, stretching the last one a bit, but you get the idea. I know this sounds oh-so-very goody goody, but I am not trying to be so. When first entered school and joined clubs, use to loathe and taunt clubs that doesnt do anything hence wasting perfectly good time of those who actually stay back after school to attend these 'activities'. I mean, come on, joining a club is a chance for one to learn something new or improve on subject that interests you. Maybe I should have listened to my senior's advice... Just leave the damned club alone, and you will still get the name of "Vice-President". However, don't feel that way. Feel that if one gets a title, it is not enough, but one must earn the respect AND the name.

Today was the second time I taught HTML to some fellow students. It's pretty informal, actually. Anyway, loved the first class, everyone seems to understand. So thought could repeat same situation a week later, but things always seem to screw up. Today, it's one of a heck of a mess. There were some students who wasn't here last week and those who were not from my class, ended up joining, because their hardware leader had something to do. The photography section of club also has a leader missing in action. Seriously, am in no mood to conduct a one-man(girl) band. Am sick from sore throat, and I have to repeat the same lesson for others who weren't here for first lesson. Also, the room with all the computers was supposed to be reserved for the members of CB only, but soon, non-members inhabited all except for three. Was so fucking distracting, and not able to teach well. My fault too, accepted that fact lesson was boring today. No explaination needed as two kept on repeating "So boring, so boring." So nevermind, and since wanted to teach the newbies, put the LW's (last week) to a test, asking them to copy exactly a webpage which covers paragraph, bold, italic, alignment, etc, all must be written in HTML alone.

All cheated, stealing diskette when was not looking, and pretending it's their masterpiece. All except for one, which am very grateful for. The interest is there, you can see it. Also the bunch of monkeys (ones who cheated), attempted another HTML try. When got back to check (was teaching newbies), was greeted by a black background and huge, white words splashed across the screen "GIANNE SUCKS". Took it goodnaturedly, which I did. After then told them, try again but am greeted with the same thing. For those who do not know, my name is Gianne. Hello.

By the way, did I mention that even by doing that, their coding was wrong? Geez, if you want to insult someone, do it properly.

The taunt didn't hit me until about 15 minutes later. Am glad of that, if not, cheaters would see me cry. Was really holding it in, and scratching my cheeks and biting my inner lip to keep from doing so, but when correcting great girl's (the one who didnt cheat)... it was like flashbacks, you know? Couldn't hold in the tears any longer, like a dam waiting to burst and finally does. Managed not to release dam in front of girl, but like dripping tap's. Felix (Cat) who was watching got totally silent and including one boy from group. Well, at least most of them had gone, so they would not see how hurt I am.

If you say "kecil hati" (meaning unable to joke around with and getting offended easily)... all I can say is that you were not there. You cannot see their actions and hear their speech. You cannot put yourself in my shoes, and feel the disappointment of researching so much that when passed on, ended up with nothing. You do not know of the effort I had put in.

Should have and could have just thrown them out but am too polite to do so. Next time should just put up sign, "Those interested in HTML, please have a sit and stay, and those who just want to waste air space, do go home and fork yourself. It would be a better way for you to use your time. Thank you for reading this sign!" Why oh why, profanities that are supposed to be said then can only appear at my fingers now?

You know what? I'll keep on trying and try not to have a screwed up class like today anymore. Just extremely glad that next week is a holiday and the next there's exams, so needn't prepare. On a good note, if last week's lesson was interesting, the possibility to do so again is great. One must always see it both ways. Maybe was too flustered and boring and stupid - and yes, maybe AM too sensitive. Hmm... mood is getting better, though keyboard is a bit worn out... shouldn't had tapped so hard and now there's something wrong with the space bar. Poor innocent keyboard... lol

current obsession: cure sore throat
now adores: someone who is still not aware of adoration
height: don't ask.
weight:been eating congee/porridge for the last few days... *hopefully*

first self-centred rant this is.

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

Joy to the World! The school burnt down... hehe , just kidding, but am not going to school tomorrow by the way. Down with sore throat and flu, but missing the high fever, so am not having SARS. Besides, you needn't be afraid because unless you're really stupid that you might get infected by reading this blog. In school, the people around me started sniffling and sneezing and am getting nervous, if in any case it was I who infected them, they will kill me. Prolly did anyway. So, shall stay home and be a good girl. Will be an angel, like I always am (stop laughing, hobbit).

Sunday, April 20, 2003

apples, oranges and bananas

Feeling rather pissed. Was watching the Simpsons and happily amused with the dysfunctional family's antics when my father suddenly took the remote going "Hold on a sec," and turned it to an F1 race.

Well, never knew that a second changed its value to two hours. -gloomily- It was going to end anyway but the missed three minutes was highly underestimated... Bart and Lisa's fate in that episode is forever gone. Can't see the point of watching F1... watching a hamster running on its wheel is definitely more interesting, though F1's car crashes can attract me attention. I mean, how could ANYONE watch the car go round, and round and round and round. Clearly, am wrong, as have friends who are an avid audience of this particular sport. Although, not very sure whether it's the race or the drivers that they are interested in.Which brings to mind, dearly hope that NEITHER of them read this, or else shall go to school friendless.

Came back today from me cousin's house. It's very nice to have someone to talk to and to have someone to be crazy with. Also, can act as though in own home, like the saying goes "chee kee yan mou yee see" (meaning, you can act yourself when around relatives). This saying might be wrong, because my Cantonese is downright embarassing and horrible. anyway, am going there every Saturday for tuition (but not to stay overnight everytime), and meet up with my older cousin (roger), cousin (apple pie), and friend (orange). I'm banana. Love these nicknames, though it always seem silly, but the laughs we get out of it is worth every silliness. Wasn't very close to my cousin (apple pie) when younger... her mom is my mom's sis, and am three days older than her and somehow everyone expected us to be bestest of friends (or cousins), but much to their dismay, it was a total opposite. Only during the last few years, we've gotten quite chummy so now relatives would shake their heads exclaiming "Aiya, see! Talking again! Cannot stop wan! These two ah...". Well, they have gotten what they wanted, haven't they? Bloody, still complain...

So far my resolution to jog at least once a week is still holding up well. Heart shall be healthy though thighs seem to be getting bigger, which totally throws off the point of my reason to exercise. But finds evening jogs nice, the fresh air and jiggly people in skin-tight thighs (oh yeah, tongue twister) and also, not forgetting, dodging dog poos that can be found scattered on the path.

current obsession: still in first position.... chocolate doughnuts!!!
now adores: someone who is not aware of adoration
height: if only my height is equivalent to weight...
weight: ahaha, anyone who lives in Malaysia and read today's the Star newspapers, seek the "Adam" cartoon. Totally me.
insanity-level: am recharging, extremely needed tomorrow to beat Monday glooms.

oooh, I'm getting used to this. Oh joy!

Tuesday, April 15, 2003


Damn, and to think I used to scorn ppl who used blogs (though am an avid reader of blogs, cant help being 5+3). Am a contradictor in life and the net. mind me not!

hmm...what to write, what to write... i suppose i COULD resort to usual, boring style of introduction or an interesting one? harumph. decisions, decisions. currently am doing homework, yet before, the sight of me doing homework would send Ripley's crew running to film me! Or like seeing a rare situation taking place.

I'm serious, you know.

D.H. Lawrence is definately to be blamed. if it weren't for his "Last Lesson of the Afternoon", i wouldn't had given a single fuck to actually attempt to do any school work. enthusiastic teachers are rare in life though. still, they are human. bloody, bloody. now feel extremely guilty if dont pay attention in class or when not handing up homework on time, whereas last year, i never hand up anything unless if i had to and practically snored my 6 hours in school away.

hate homework, am only in school for co-curricular activities. i'm in interact, cyberbrigade, volleyball and taekwondo. recent events: volley team went to interzone, but defeated. interact hosted a charity concert, where i got my chance to prance around like a red monkey on stage (and also causing slight earthquake in new york) and gone pretty well.

current obsession: chocolate doughnuts
now adores: alllll byyy myself...
height: still short (platform shoes and high heels does no justice)
weight: as light as a hippo
insanity-level: negative. always leaves sanity at home and i'm at home =P

ah, now i'm done, so u can wake up now.

'tis a small step for me, but a huger step towards more crappiness!