Saturday, October 25, 2003

dewey colour system

i never knew is for females. hmmm. anyway, took this test:

You're an Activist
You're well loved, giving, and affectionate. Maybe that's because you're dedicated to making the world a better place. You're not just a talker; you're a person of action. The passionate you is a fast-thinking, logical self-starter. You ask pertinent questions with a no-nonsense style. Then, you tend to blurt out the obvious. You make sure that essential needs are met and you invent better ways. The centered you can see how to direct your life toward a greater inner peace. You are able to discern exactly what you need. When all is quiet within you recognize just what you want. The emotional you needs to have fun. You can find yourself swept up in someone else's passionate adventure. Create downtime to become immersed in just you. Discover your own fun.

SPM in less than two weeks. wonder how should i feel.

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

the attack of the fleas

yes, that is right, the horrible bloodsucking creatures have taken over my home! reasons: termination of the pest control service and the fact that my bro didnt bathe our three dogs outside for like, 5 weeks (it's his job, me chips in if he asks nicely), and it seems like it's the ticks breeding during the past four days (saturday,sunday, monday, tuesday... didnt go to school for two days), i ended up plonking myself in front of the dogs, picking fat fleas and dropping them into a jar of turpentine. once done, i set the turpentine with fleas on fire. bro and i would watch the fire with great satisfaction.ahhh... sweet revenge. especially the fat ones that drain my doggies' blood. the next day, we bathe the dogs and sprayed the house with flea repellent... there were a lot that sneaked into our living room and kitchen, so if u ever visit me, u might find my whole family at the floor searching for those god-blasted fleas and with a mini dustpan in our hands. it's so geli... i have to kill them with my fingernail and black goo will spurt outta them. yuck. and these days, all of us here are getting p[retty jittery, and often dash off to the bathroom and take a shower, just in case. but btw, dog fleas cannot bite into human skin... so it's okay la... but me fear that it will crawl into my ear. anyway, by this week, am positively sure we can search and destroy all of them. wish us luck! u have no idea how many buckets we have used to spray the house with flea repellent.

next topic! for my birthday, i've gotten a tropicana life wallet(haha, finally a wallet that i can fit my cards into), a book on dog crafts (this is absolutely cute), a box of lotsa chocolate(i love my cousin), a notebook, a soft toy turtle(milo loves it loads... she keeps running away with it), glow-in-the-dark butterflies(once repaint room, will have loads of those on my wall!), a hematite necklace(promotes self-confidence, hmmm), a watch , wind chimes (scary when sounded at night) and those sand time-turners. my parents didnt give me anything on bday, cuz i used up my bday pressie throughout the year... like my mom bought me the harry potter 5 and my bro gotten me a dog and a new motherboard, my dad bought pizzas... lol.

i guess i have nothing else to say, SPM is two weeks away and havent touched most of my books yet. ta then.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

linkin park rules!!!!

omigod, can't believe this... been to a linkin park concert(yesterday!), and it was so friggin awesome! oh man, i want to rewind my life back to yesterday so i could watch them again! throughout the concert, was screaming, shouting, singing, jumping, dancing and waving my arms in the air like a madwoman! i only know their famous songs, like in the end, somewhere i belong, numb, faint, papercut, crawling, one step closer, etc. there were some songs that am so blur to... 'cause i have not their album and am a great believer in radio (as it has more variety).anyway, i might get their albums (not pirated ones)in january where CD prices will drop to a much much more reasonable price. and am buying original, 'cause they deserve it.

anyway, bought the RM127, but unfortunately it's neither mosh pit nor celcom inner circle, as am underaged, so have to settle for the reserved seats. the good thing is, i need not drag my ass there at 4.00pm to push and shove for good seats. asha, charlene and i arrived there abt 7.30pm. the place outside the stadium were filled with stalls selling drinks, food (including chestnuts and kacangs,lol) and LP merchandise. it's so pasar malam... and these ppl are so rip-off-ers. it's like every item there is overcharged by 200%. for example, a simple mineral bottle would cost RM 2-3, where outside, you can get it at 80 cents or RM1.

entered the stadium (after the guards confiscated our bottles), and found our seat. i actually intended to scare lean chiew from the back, but that idiot turned at the last second. so all of us waited for the concert to start. meanwhile, we saw utt, and sarah tan from mtv or channel v (cant remember) in the celcom circle, and we also plotted ways to get a clearer view of stage, which among the "good" ideas is to wallop the policemen unconscious and don their outfits.

8.40: too phat came on, and that's when we stood up and cheered. a lot of ppl from the front row moved forward, because we didnt exactly get a good view if we sit down
9.10: told by security guards to sit down, because ppl behind refuse to stand up and doesnt want to see our arses. so we sat, but unwillingly. i hate our section. too phat stopped performing (it's a hip-hop band, btw, with breakdancing etc)
9.30: still sitting, and linkin park came on stage... it was sooo awesome, and since we couldnt stand up, we danced and sang and yelled from our seats. they were so excellent and chester was like, "malaysia boleh!"
9.35: when the first song finished, ppl in the mosh pit were starting to feel dizzy and faint. one after another, were carried out to the tracks to get a breather and to recover before they return.
9.40: by the third song, asha and i were like, so pissed because the ppl behind us are like sooo dead, they didnt stand, didnt yell, and shouldnt had come at all. then we spotted, on our left, a much hippier section where loads of ppl were yelling, jumping, dancing and yes, standing of course. immediately, we left our seats and went to boogie there and ENJOY. those ppl stting are INSANE i tell you! so fucking pissed!

the concert ended at abt 10.45-11.00pm, and it's one of the most mindblowing, stress buster and bloody FANTASTIC concert i've ever been to. they sang abt 15++ songs, and we didnt want them to go at ALL.haha, and one of my fave part of the concert was when chester asks the crowd to shout "GO AWAY" and gotten a lukewarm response. it seems like the audience thought that LP is asking us to tell them to blah. LOL, even chester smiled(it was on the big screen) amusedly. but then they started on the song which contains the words "GO AWAY!!!" and the audience understood. i think every song that they sing, we sing (shout) it back to them. during the songs like numb, faint, somewhere i belong, in the end, etc, i yelled my head off and i whistled and i jumped like hell! my voice was so hoarse at the end of the day, but it's so worth it. i cant believe i saw LP live!!!

am really jealous of celcom inner circle, as at the end of the concert, LP threw drumsticks (for drums, not KFC) to the crowd and even threw guitar pics to them! right off their hands! i feel a bit pity for too phat though, cuz they were booed cuz they performed too long and they didnt sing a lot of their famous songs. they're a local band, pretty good, but everyone was there to see LP. at some point, in the middle of the concert, chester said, "oh, i know u like too phat better than us..." or something like that, and EVERYONE yelled, "NO!!!". i wonder how is too phat feeling. after all, they are our local band, and we should support them.

LP are truly musicians that will make a mark in this century (in a good way, of course!), and i have a feeling that they'll be around for a long long time .(HURRAH!)

on the way out, we saw asha gill... didnt get her autograph though. so my friends and i started the walk to my parents' car... we were so full of adrenaline and the best thing to do after a concert is to go clubbing. however, we cant (yet) and the clubs would be pretty dead on a wednesday night. anyway, we felt like salmons swimming upstream the river, cuz loads of ppl were coming from opposite direction. i met some of my friends, like sharmini, wai mun and corinne. havent met corinne for like, two years, and it's pretty cool to meet her again!

i slept at 2am that night(morning) and woke at 6.30am to go to school. limbs feel very erm, tired. discuss excitedly with a fellow friend who went to concert too, and sang LP songs throughout the day... fell asleep during chemistry class, luckily shebby (chem teacher) didnt splash me with natrium hidrokside or something.

it was my birthday on monday, but my fingers are too tired to tell u all abt my recent life. will continue some other day.

till then,

[here's me and me frens in the beginning of the year, when i was in the volley team and look like a lobster (at least i was thin!)]

from left: sze jun, moi,anushia

Thursday, October 02, 2003

ah, fluck it

i shall just keep my mouth zipped. i'm sure u guys are so sick of my excuses and empty promises. anyway, i'll sum up my current state of life >>
= trials over

= papers returned, am launched into verbal arguments and debates with teachers, especially for moral

= also begging and grovelling resulted, and my effort did pay off! from B3 to A2, from C6 to C5 and from B4 to B3. hey, better than nothing, rite?

= gave a surprise party for my friend in school. we bought her a cake and a two year subcription for the Pet's World magazine. she LOVES those. at first we told her that we bought her skimpy polka dots bikini and we had to order in her size but in the end, we told her the truth.

= ah, during trials, encountered weirdest coincidences.
- before Physics Exam, witnessed a very close car crash. motorcyclist thrown into the air. during exam, question abt impact of a car crash came out.
- during BM exam, wrote abt unreliable public transport and the fact that they never come on time and make us poor citizen wait desperately. later, wanted to catch a bus to tuition and it seems like metro bus was on strike or something. friends and me stranded in front of school for an hour and a half till fren got her dad to take us to tuition centre. 5 person in the back and three in front. and we're talking proton wira here people!

= went to great eastern mall, and they have this fabulous pet shop! they have clothes for dogs, great number of toys and tidbits... so my family bought lots for our dog and a shirt for milo! she's utterly adorable. utterly spoilt in fact. aunt got her a new collar that goes 'I'M SPOILED'. now my aunt cant read a single word of english, but she's right

= am going to linkin park's concert! not really a fan, but am familiar with their music. will be a stress unwinder or something. 15 Oct. two days after me bday (*hint hint*). anyway, me fren charlene helped me and my friend get the tics.

since i like to waste time, here's my question 3 for my trial eng exam. this is what i wrote (question: "i could hardly believe my eyes....") with adjustments that i couldnt add during the time limit of exam. hate directed writing. hate summary. oh, oh, right...:


I could hardly believe my eyes. The girl was standing in front of me, anxiously awaiting my reaction. She was fiddling with the many bead bracelets that adorned her wrist, and I knew she was nervous and worried at the same time. For the first minute, I was speechless, but finally, I found my voice and invited her in. As I rushed to the kitchen to make a tea for two and perhaps, some biscuits out of the tin, the girl's greeting when I answered the door repeated in my mind.

"Miss Kay? It's me, Louise, your daughter."

Then memories engulfed me in its darkness.

Seventeen years ago, I got involved in the outcast crowd. We were constantly waging war against society, as we felt that they were narrow-minded, unable to accept differences and uncaring. Perhaps it is because we had never experienced a kind gesture from anyone else other than our group of friends. All of us originated from troubled backgrounds. I, for one, had a terrible childhood and I finally ran away with this group of friends. We had a great dream; to start a new life. However, we lack the intellect to survive in the working world. We had the common sense and yes, the wisdom of suffering, but we cannot survive just on that. Our freedom was ephemeral. One after another succumbed to the lure of drugs and prostitution. I did not get into drugs nor prostitution, as I found a man whom I thought was wonderful for he gave me food, shelter and the love I never had. To me, he was my saviour. But as weeks turn into months, he turned abusive. I suppose that they were right when they said the abused are attracted to abusive people. Yet I did not leave him because I lived in an illusion that he was the one I have been searching my whole life.
One day, I found myself pregnant. When I told him, he became furious and struck me on the head, and kneed me in the stomach. As I lay wounded on the floor, I finally realized that I must get out of this relationship. For the second time in my life, I ran away. A friend pitied me and took me under her wings.
Eight months later, I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. I named her Louise and used my surname. Then I gave her up for adoption. It was my first wise decision in my life, as I had no home, no stable income and no means to support my child. The last thing I knew of my child was that a well-off family had adopted her. I felt both glad and yet depressed.
I did not regret my actions during my younger days. We were all but humans seeking acceptance and love. Throughout the years, I tried to not think of Louise but it had been so hard...

The whistling of the kettle brought me back to my present state, and before I left the kitchen ,I wiped the tears off my face and entered the living room where the girl, Louise, is sitting. I sat next to her and at a split second, I noticed our resemblance. I apologised to her. Without warning she burst into tears and hugged me, and I embraced her back. No words can express our feelings. This is my daughter.