Thursday, October 02, 2003

ah, fluck it

i shall just keep my mouth zipped. i'm sure u guys are so sick of my excuses and empty promises. anyway, i'll sum up my current state of life >>
= trials over

= papers returned, am launched into verbal arguments and debates with teachers, especially for moral

= also begging and grovelling resulted, and my effort did pay off! from B3 to A2, from C6 to C5 and from B4 to B3. hey, better than nothing, rite?

= gave a surprise party for my friend in school. we bought her a cake and a two year subcription for the Pet's World magazine. she LOVES those. at first we told her that we bought her skimpy polka dots bikini and we had to order in her size but in the end, we told her the truth.

= ah, during trials, encountered weirdest coincidences.
- before Physics Exam, witnessed a very close car crash. motorcyclist thrown into the air. during exam, question abt impact of a car crash came out.
- during BM exam, wrote abt unreliable public transport and the fact that they never come on time and make us poor citizen wait desperately. later, wanted to catch a bus to tuition and it seems like metro bus was on strike or something. friends and me stranded in front of school for an hour and a half till fren got her dad to take us to tuition centre. 5 person in the back and three in front. and we're talking proton wira here people!

= went to great eastern mall, and they have this fabulous pet shop! they have clothes for dogs, great number of toys and tidbits... so my family bought lots for our dog and a shirt for milo! she's utterly adorable. utterly spoilt in fact. aunt got her a new collar that goes 'I'M SPOILED'. now my aunt cant read a single word of english, but she's right

= am going to linkin park's concert! not really a fan, but am familiar with their music. will be a stress unwinder or something. 15 Oct. two days after me bday (*hint hint*). anyway, me fren charlene helped me and my friend get the tics.

since i like to waste time, here's my question 3 for my trial eng exam. this is what i wrote (question: "i could hardly believe my eyes....") with adjustments that i couldnt add during the time limit of exam. hate directed writing. hate summary. oh, oh, right...:


I could hardly believe my eyes. The girl was standing in front of me, anxiously awaiting my reaction. She was fiddling with the many bead bracelets that adorned her wrist, and I knew she was nervous and worried at the same time. For the first minute, I was speechless, but finally, I found my voice and invited her in. As I rushed to the kitchen to make a tea for two and perhaps, some biscuits out of the tin, the girl's greeting when I answered the door repeated in my mind.

"Miss Kay? It's me, Louise, your daughter."

Then memories engulfed me in its darkness.

Seventeen years ago, I got involved in the outcast crowd. We were constantly waging war against society, as we felt that they were narrow-minded, unable to accept differences and uncaring. Perhaps it is because we had never experienced a kind gesture from anyone else other than our group of friends. All of us originated from troubled backgrounds. I, for one, had a terrible childhood and I finally ran away with this group of friends. We had a great dream; to start a new life. However, we lack the intellect to survive in the working world. We had the common sense and yes, the wisdom of suffering, but we cannot survive just on that. Our freedom was ephemeral. One after another succumbed to the lure of drugs and prostitution. I did not get into drugs nor prostitution, as I found a man whom I thought was wonderful for he gave me food, shelter and the love I never had. To me, he was my saviour. But as weeks turn into months, he turned abusive. I suppose that they were right when they said the abused are attracted to abusive people. Yet I did not leave him because I lived in an illusion that he was the one I have been searching my whole life.
One day, I found myself pregnant. When I told him, he became furious and struck me on the head, and kneed me in the stomach. As I lay wounded on the floor, I finally realized that I must get out of this relationship. For the second time in my life, I ran away. A friend pitied me and took me under her wings.
Eight months later, I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. I named her Louise and used my surname. Then I gave her up for adoption. It was my first wise decision in my life, as I had no home, no stable income and no means to support my child. The last thing I knew of my child was that a well-off family had adopted her. I felt both glad and yet depressed.
I did not regret my actions during my younger days. We were all but humans seeking acceptance and love. Throughout the years, I tried to not think of Louise but it had been so hard...

The whistling of the kettle brought me back to my present state, and before I left the kitchen ,I wiped the tears off my face and entered the living room where the girl, Louise, is sitting. I sat next to her and at a split second, I noticed our resemblance. I apologised to her. Without warning she burst into tears and hugged me, and I embraced her back. No words can express our feelings. This is my daughter.


1 comment:

gianne said...


1. a reader left...
Saturday, 4 October 2003 7:34 pm
hey great story!!
i used to write something like yours too during those spm. something meaningful or something provoking to the emotion. wanna score A1 in gce later? i believe u are capable. write stories that really gives ppl a disturbing aftermath of a provoking story. or rather make ppl think of what you wrote in the end. for my GCE i chose continous writing as well and chose to wrote about an anonymous man who helped this teenage kid to survive his hell. just remember, if you're doing continous essay for gce, your story must be extremely good.

giving ya tips here. you can do it! ganbatte!


2. a reader left...
Saturday, 4 October 2003 7:36 pm
forget to add. who said your english is declining!! its really good if not better!
a little tweak and improvement and A1 is in ur hands =D

jackson yeoh

3. a reader left...
Monday, 6 October 2003 8:30 pm
hey!! i think ur story is great...scoring A1 for ur GCE shudn't be a prob if you can write as well as what u posted...awesome job, really =) u oughta be proud of it...

i'd really like to see more of ur work...serious! email me stuff...i'll definitely read it

btw, ur going for linkin park's concert? too! wat tix didja buy? i got the field ones..=) gimme a buzz on that day!

corinne []