Sunday, September 26, 2004

Holiday Spent!

finally moved pc into room! had to neaten my room up again though... after encountering several problems and a lot of dust bunnies, me and my dad found a small ickle space to put my pc, so basically there's not free space for anything else in my room...besides me that is XD. now my parents are getting real worried, 'cause they think i might not sleep with this pc in my room, due to the fact am an addict! erm, i think they may be right, lol. furthermore, my bro helped me buy the sims 2 (mental note: owe him 20 bucks... ouch, my wallet...) and am afraid install it, may end up permanently stuck to the pc and shall turn into a panda-looking funny-smelling geek.

my holiday has gone to a waste. a lot of my assignments remain under the calling "unfinished". very very horrified now.

been to my old high school recently. the moment i step into school, am reminded of the times i was dragged upstage for being late. *bows head in shame with the rest of late-comers* then the memories of all the joys and sorrows that befell in my 5 years there. oh speaking of late, was NEARLY late to meet felix (the cat!) XD. ahh, good ol' days!

me buddies were there, it just feel bloody fantastic seeing them again after sch a long period of time. chatted with loads of them but not for long... they have obligations as responsible students to attend their classes =P. met some of my juniors as well and one of them went through a transformation - got me real surprised for a moment, thinking; is this her? *blink blink* the last time i saw her, she was this mousy shy f1 kid. now? v extrovert, confident, talkative f2 prefect. then there's this subtle change of the expression on her i used to know, yet what difference it made!

there was only two of my teachers that i wanted to meet (and give a packet of keropok! 'cause the last time i visited one, he says, "no buah tangan?" [no gifts?] heheh).

first stop, LK teacher... ended up talking to him for 1 hour ++ and somehow it turned into politics. both of us dont like samyvellu and he tells this joke "in Thailand, there are a lot of sami (monks) but no toll. In Malaysia there's just one Samy, but a helluva number of tolls."

5mins before school ends, i went to see my Add Maths teacher - one of the teachers i respect most. he has always been strict but observant; one of the classes i actually paid attention to.

after that, me, Felix, Stacy and Yuet Lee ate at McD's... Stacy is with her usual fai-fai talks, being hilarious, having Felix as the butt of the joke. don't normally mix with them, but i do sometimes. and hell, i miss this. life moves on though and let's leave it at that. =) dearly hope we will still be in touch in the years to come. won't be hard to do anyway, since friendster's existence

yesterday, went gallivating (as my mom puts it) with Pui Yee and Lean Chiew in Midvalley. LC was trying to buy some clothes, but most of the time we were just walking around trying to find a place to sit and chat. anyway, let the pictures speak! have some videos as well, but have not found a place to upload it... bloody funny imho.

that's all, folks! *tap dances out (with cane and top hat and all)*


Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Oldies and Random Thoughts

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

- Look What You've Done JET

Everytime a song like this comes on air, all these oldies sounding, melancholy songs, from a happy mood, I may drowned in the blues. Okay, that's extremely dramatic, it's the song's fault =P. I just get...sad. Call it a mood swing, hormones, the aliens residing in my head.... I'm sure there are a lot of things to blame for it. Yet, there's this fulfilling feeling when I do listen to oldies. Not only sadness it provokes but somehow it puts me in a mood to think, be philosophical. It's rather relaxing actually.

It don't matter to me
If you really feel that
You need sometime to be free
Time to go out searching for yourself
Hoping to find time to go to find
And it don't matter to me
If you take up with someone
Who's better than me
'Cause your happiness is all I want
For you to find peace your piece of mind

- It Doesnt Matter to Me BREAD

Man, love these fellas, got hooked the moment 'Make It With You' seeped into my flesh, my bones and sent a jitter up my spine. [Sue me, I love oldies...]

Hey have you ever tried,
Really reaching out for the other side?
I maybe climbing on rainbows
But, baby here goes.
Dreams there for those who sleep,
Life is for us to keep,

And if you're wond'ring
What this song is leading to
I want to make it with you

- Make It With You BREAD

Havent dissected lyrics since my Moffatt days... Am pretty out in the sense of the current music actually. No longer do I worship one band, instead if it's nice, my ears will be eager. More often than not, unless if they are popular, wouldn't know their names, but would recognize the style and their signature beauty of tunes and voice.

Was doing my Moral project, decided on the topic homosexuality. Finding it oh-so-hard to write formally. A lot of my assignments are undone, even though before the holidays I vowed to finish all of them AND practice on my skills. One of the reasons am here; escaping from the torturous world of formal reports! One glance at my pile at this moment and I think, "Screw it!". At least for now. Will wake from slumber later, very horrified.

A certain friend of mine just converted me into a crazed fan of the Japanese anime called Chobits. You know who you are =P. have been dling songs and wallpapers since. Now i recommend it to anyone with eyes and ears to watch it! also, was always wondering why a lot of manga/anime fans wants to learn Japanese... i need not wonder no longer, i understand now for am... am joining 'em [ @_@"]. LOL. Picked up some words as well, like:

Baka - Idiot/Stupid [Used v frequently... heheh]
Kawaii - Cute [I bet you know this, right??]
Dakishimetai no ni - I just want to hold you [as useless as 'Voulez vouche avec moi?'... lol]
Wakaranai - I don't know [Umm, that IS the meaning, hahah]

The last time I learnt Dutch... well, snippets. Used to frequent this fiction website, Squashed Elephants, and I got into a v brief friendship with the webmistress:

Ik wil je - I want you [the reply would be 'Ik jou ook']
Nee - No
Klootzak - Asshole
Lekker Ding - Sexy thing [used this a lot during my high school days, for a certain infatuation =P]
Rot een eind op, stomme idioot - Go fuck yourself, you dipshit!

Oh the fun days! She actually taught me "Your place or mine?" and "Does your body tastes as good as you look?", but my old old email account has been deleted, along with her emails. Memories down the drain... *sigh*

Cheers to the oldies and the past. Goodnight.

Friday, September 17, 2004

The Right Choice

TGIF!!! Never felt so glad to reach the weekend at last, the whole week consisted of the growing bags under my eyes. It's the endless rush to finish my assignments and only the other day, my beauty sleep was 2 hours due to lovely lovely assignments. Abt 8 hours of endless colour mixing and careful painting. Then in class (Design Studies), lovely lovely lect decided he'd collect that particular assignment AFTER the holidays. I was torn between laughter, disbelief and the intense need to hang that lecturer upside-down and hit him like a pinata. Preferably a club with spikes. With a bucket of salt nearby.

     Next week we're given an assignment-laden one week holiday. Will be spending my hols travelling from the TV to my fridge. P'raps desk to toilet. Fascinating, no? *roll eyes*

     I wonder if the path my feet thread upon is the one for me. Doing what I'm doing now. Muns tells me she's surprised that I didn't take up journalism. Others reckon veterinarian, marine biologist, IT, so on and so forth. The former: It's only in my opinion that writers/authors are under-appreciated, under-paid, and all sorts of other 'unders'. Nor will it be a easy road to take, it's very competitive. And I don't even trust my life in my own hands, how will I save lives? And the guilt will kill me even though death is inevitable.
     At times, I miss the 'thinking' subjects. Add Maths, Philosophy, History, Politics... keeps brain active =P. Certain parts of history interests me, especially if it involves bloody wars =). But then again, love to read, hate to memorize. Once one starts memorizing, the beauty of the past will be gone. It's something you can discuss. Skills on the other hand, it's basically the other side of the moon. When frustrated with my sketch that just isn't good enough, I doubt. Then I don't. Then I do. 'tis hard to be a Libran, ppl!
     It's hard to ascertain what the outcome will be. Sometimes I feel, this whole thing is like a bloody Russian Roulette [no pun intended]. I will find out what was the right choice, a milisecond before dying.

     Feel like going for an adventure. Like PY's idea, backpacking through the Silk Road. Just think it'd be a great experience, to be thrown into unknown places, see how we'd get out of sticky situations. I wonder it'll ever get it out of our thoughts and turn into something tangible. A nice little adventure before our lives goes in a rut. But then again, there's a question of the moolah and if my family would EVER allow me to do so. Sometimes I just feel like getting the hell out of this place, but I know that in the end, I'll return right where I started. Details abt the Silk Road is vague for me, all I know is it involves China and there's Gobi Desert too. Don't think it passes through Istanbul, though would love to go there! We'll see I suppose, have to start fattening my piggy bank, in contrary to what I usually fatten: self.

     Oh, am in my coll's Multimedia Lab. A nice little discovery... better if compared to the ones in the library, wasn't aware that we can use 'em if there's no class going on. The mouse is much much 200% better! So is the net connection, LOL. Still, despite all it's faults and crashability, it's Windows that I prefer, the ones here are all Macs. I can't even edit the HTML here! Bugger...

{Updated} Font / Links

# Missing Calliope|Callie. That canine latched on my heart and it will not leave, even though i gave her away for a better home. Just hope she's doing alrite.

01 - Slightly retarded, I love her still.

02 - You ought to see when she pounces - yep, that pose. Kung fu dog!

03 - I bet Mylo misses her too. =)

Thursday, September 09, 2004


Seems like someone kicked Tiger Woods off his comfy seat as the world number one in golf, and someone is this guy called Vijay. A day after his winnings, it came out in the localnews that Vijay had once applied for citizenship in good ol' M'sia, two decades back but it wasn't granted. Newspapers lament the fact that if he had been granted citizenship here, he would bring up the name of Malaysia, where he'd be plastered with the Jalur Gemilang and 'Malaysian Spirit'.

Somehow this news irked me. No, not because I'm miffed at the man's success, but how the media love to do the what-ifs. Also, by bringing this history up, Vijay would be reading the paper (if he do, that is), thinking, "Ahahahhh, now regret leh!"

It reminded me of Guy Sebastian's over-coverage in here. Btw, he's the Australian Idol, for those who watch no TV... insane... Anyway, the thing with Sebastian is that he was a Malaysian, but migrated to Down Under while he's still little tyke (okay, fine, 6 years old). He grew up in Australia, yet he was only in the local spotlight when he won the Aust Idol. In fact, I don't recall him being in the news before his win in AI. The local media blew up the fact, in every interview, article etc, that he was born here. I didn't minded much, but it got to a point where it got nauseating. I wonder if Guy ever get that dejavu feeling in every interview, every TV appearances that he did in M'sia?

I just wish that this country would stop looking back, and thinking what-ifs because these things are over and gone, there are plenty (barrels and barrels!) of talent right here. They are just waiting for the right soil to bloom. If we keep throwing them cheap fertilizers and give them water that leaves them barely alive, they will grow, yes, but not to their full potential.

By saying cheap fertilizer, I do not mean we give them a lot of shit (well, in a way, we do...a little...), but by the facilities, the coaches etc etc. Citing the sports as an example la. In school, PE teachers are often those not trained in sports. How could they lead, guide the students if they themselves are not qualified coaches? The sport facilities in schools have gotten way better, I must admit, but the thing is... it's just not utilized properly I suppose, to cut a long story short. There are a lot of coaches who need jobs, the Government ought to hire them to coach in schools, say twice a month. When students hear that it's a qualified coach, they're bound to be more interested.

As for the water, am actually referring to the moolah, the dough. Our national players... well, their pay is not enough? Despite all the "Malaysian Spirit", "Malaysia Boleh", "Make Malaysia Proud", it's undeniable that money will play a part in it. It IS important, besides craving their name, they need it to survive. In Western countries, there are so many talented atheletes clamouring to get into the national teams and usually the cream of the crop, they can survive by having a job as a sportsman whereas here, it's not advisable to take that path.

Slightly related, don't even get me started on the Govenrment's plan to lure back Malaysians who had migrated overseas.

Ranted enough I suppose =P.

Now off to my poor neglected assignments.

Sunday, September 05, 2004

Oh Dear Me

Getting all poetic lately. Good god, I must be depressed.
it's in my face
yet ungraspable
for it's not mine
to claim.

i reach out
but skies are untouchable
so shall i wait
for the cotton clouds
to kiss the tip of my nose
or sprout wings to meet them?
in that same clear sky
skydivers are liberated
for a moment too short
they'd leap again and again
just for that sugar rush
even when pain may meet them.

hurting is no longer pitch black
but a hybrid of colours
weaving out and in.

upon the dewy grass
under the sapphire sky
i am still.

Saturday, September 04, 2004

A Certain Russian Incident

Imagine this : It's your first day at school. You're terrified at the prospect of meeting new friends, new environment etc. Your parents assure you that everything will be alright, you'll love it, it's a new chapter in your life! The next thing you know you're in the middle of the school's gym, surrounded by terrified children and adults, not to mention the bombs and armed men. While on the way to the gym, a few bodies lay scattered on the floor.

You might have guessed it by now, am talking abt the Russian hostage incident.

When I first heard this news, a feeling of great injustice bubbled. For crying out loud, the hostages are CHILDREN! Deers against cheetahs with genetically enhanced speed. The terrorists are really sad creatures, major losers as you might say. Take away their bombs and their friends! Alone they cower and shiver. It's just so sick the way some people have absolutely no conscience. When they sleep, so they hear their victim's final screams? Do they not see the frozen look of the dead? Are they not brothers, fathers, how could they not feel the pain of the relatives who are left hanging outside? Blood were splashed most inside while the tears reign outside. Two days without water and food. The first thing the survivors did when they got out of the hell hole was drink and eat. Too traumatised to talk.

It's over now, the death count is 322, 155 of them are children. Parents will be missing the patter of tiny feets, that music. The silence, a room devoid of laughter. Due to the confusion however, a lot of relatives have yet to know whether their loved one is okay, injured or dead. The ones who survived may be part dead. The trauma they had gone through, newspapers had even compared their experience to the Vietnam veterans, who until this day are still scarred.

The vulnerable, the innocents always die/suffer first. My heart goes out to all of them involved in the ordeal (obviously on the victim's side, i applaud the deaths of the terrorists and cursed those who escaped). In a world, a time like this, barbarians still exist. Sad bastards. Hope they rest in pieces down at burning raging hell on a satay stick.

Now I kiss the ground of Malaysia.


Was reading manga comics (borrowed them off Lean Chiew), just to see the different styles and in a way, to understand what the heck my collmates are so crazy abt. so when my aunt peered over my shoulder and asked me what i'm doing, i went, gleefully, "May Yang, I'm studying!". Ah the pros of doing animation! =P

I used to religiously read Doraemon and my mom would get mad over it. Oh the irony! Anyway, currently reading Yuyu Hakusho... like it so far, devoured 6 of them in 24 hours. Certain parts is really funny, or make me go, "BODOH!!!" *laughs*. Drawings = pretty good. Love their expressions. However, I do find that most of the characters look alike, if not for the hair and clothing. Hmm... have one more series to enjoy, but gonna flip through it again for my 'instant-noodle' course for manga characters. Starting to enjoy them, and this coming from someone who used to scorned manga for their 'perfect' characters.

Ah, pride swallowing moment *gulp*.