Tuesday, September 06, 2005

dancing in the moonlight

Hmm. Another post. How unlike my title, aka Ms Procrastination. Actually it still is, because I have loads of assignments now, but end up doing things like blogging, surfing forums and reading books. Wondering why when I'm busy, I start getting little ideas and get more active in other things.

Me mam went off to a Buddhist meet. Not really a meet, but a dancing practice for some meet this weekend. She wanted me to go as well, but as usual, I declined. I felt quite guilty. Wait. My mom dancing? Shit! Should had gone, lol. Anyway, they will be dancing to the song 'Footloose', which is a VERY nice oldies song:

I been working so hard
Keep punching my card
Eight hours, for what?
Oh, tell me what I got
I get this feeling
That time's just holding me down
I'll hit the ceiling
Or else I'll tear up this town
Tonight I gotta cut
Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Please, Louise
Pull me offa my knees
Jack, get back
C'mon before we crack
Lose your blues
Everybody cut footloose
You're playing so cool
Obeying every rule
Dig way down in your heart
You're yearning, burning for some
Somebody to tell you
That life ain't passing you by
I'm trying to tell you
It will if you don't even try
You can fly if you'd only cut
Loose, footloose

Footloose, kick off your Sunday shoes!! Haha, ok, ok. There's something really nice about oldies, I cannot put my finger on it. My heart feels lighter listening to it. In some ways, I could relate to it. Bread (bukan roti ya...), the Eagles, Joni Mitchell, Elvis, the Everly Brothers are among the many that I listen to. There's a whole bunch of oldies in my CD stash, that certain happening friends may choke at.

But I digress.

When I went to PD beach, and felt its serenity, I was thinking that it would be a great place to dance around a campfire, taking in the air and sounds around us and worship Mother Nature. Or the Goddess. A few years back, I got very interested in Pagan paths, more to Wicca, but I'm pretty much eclectic. I still am interested actually. There are several paths down the Pagan road. I forgot the guy's name, but practitioners who follow his path cast their magick in nude.

The idea of casting spells in the outdoors, prefereably in the forest when one is surrounded by the beauty and freshness of nature, when the sun has hidden itself and the full moon in the nude is quite appealing. There's a forest near my area, with hills and all. But then again, the moon might just hurl at the sight of my naked body. And there are packs of wild dogs there that might just die from laughing.

Harhar. Call SPCA then you know.

But not for me, really. I prefer to be fully clothed, thankyouverymuch.

Bide The Wiccan Law Ye Must,
In Perfect Love, In Perfect Trust.
Eight Words The Wiccan Rede Fulfill:
An Ye Harm None, Do As Ye Will.
And Ever Mind The Rule Of Three:
What Ye Send Out, Comes Back To Thee.
Follow This With Mind And Heart,
And Merry Ye Meet, And Merry Ye Part.

Among my life's philosophy. =)

I studied for about a year. Bought Scott Cunningham's 'A Guide for the Solitary Practioner' from Kinokuniya. (Actually my parents paid for it... they seriously had nooooo idea what Wicca is, they saw 'solitary' and thought it's another of my weirdness to be alone) The Wiccan Rede I used to write on my palm because I felt very close to it. Even memorised it (not the full complete one though, which is really long). Got to know other Malaysian Pagans, but not close. Met one though, but lost contact. Not many knew about this. Maybe two. Because I'm a coward. I daren't stand up for what I believed in, because there are shallow minded people out there who think paganism is a cult, something evil. That Pagans sacrifices living beings and have weekly orgies. Go to hell, man. You WISHED! Sometimes it really pisses me off. It's tiring to make people like that to understand, because they are so set in their mind, it's like trying to tell a colour-blind person the difference between yellow and green.

And then there's also this Buddhism that I have followed since I was 8. Its chant had calmed my heart, like meditation, and their activities cheer me up. My mom is quite fervent in it. Because it truly helped her. And I feel like it's betraying a bit, to walk down another path. As well as my mother. I like Buddhism, especially the one I'm in. But I don't really feel a connection to it.

Funnily though, the line of Buddhism I follow, Lotus Sutra / Soka Gakkai, some people regard it as a cult. Also another bullshit statement. I'm in it, I can confirm that there's no brainwashing, no sacrifice, and there's no forced donations. And since it's from Japan, many insult it. One time, I was in the company of these people I visited at their home, who kept insulting Soka Gakkai, because they hate the Japanese, how we are betraying the Chinese by supporting Japanese yada yada bla bla... They went on and on, and I nearly cracked a rib from trying not to laugh, because their kid is wearing Pokemon shirt, their air-cond is Toshiba and their car is Mitsubishi.

Something like that, can't recall whether it was Pokemon or Hello Kitty.

Digressed yet again.

And if I do turn to Paganism, I'll come under fire by my relatives who have already tagged me as some weirdo, black sheep. Who will in turn scold my mother for not teaching me well, although I happen to think my mom's method of raising children is wayyy better than theirs.

Eventually, I stopped. Reading about it, hoping that I could convert. I have forgotten where I had placed my Grimoire, aka Book of Shadows. I still use my tarot decks and incense.

An if ye harm none, do what ye will.

1 comment:

gianne said...

from blog-city:

1. Pui Yee left...
Wednesday, 21 September 2005 4:41 am

funny. I wanted to become a Wiccan, too. but was never too deep into it. more secular than religious, you know? when you were 13-16 and obsessed and depressed and ashamed of yourself its...ah. they're over. OVER, i tell myself.

2. GenieOnTheLoose left...
Wednesday, 21 September 2005 10:37 pm

glad urs is over, mine pops up once in a while. really unwanted visitors, pah pah! lol.

i think perhaps last time we're too self-conscious. now it's like, take it or leave it, -beep-. =P

even though i read books about handling adolescense when I was one, I didn't get it. but looking back, NOW i get it, lol.