Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Ostriches are stupid...

...And so am I, getting, because I had to look up the bloody dict. to spell it.

Okay, picture this. Pretend you're a chicken or a bird or any other egg-laying creature mommy. Someone takes your eggs. What do you do? Dive bomb the little prick like a thousand kamikaze pilots? Draw a mental Bull's Eye on their head, and shit on them everyday until you die? Or eat the baby-snatcher slowly all the way down the Amazon river, blood like acrylic disolving in tainted water (imagine this ONLY if you're an alligator or crocodile, no hummingbird or platypus can't do the menacing-job). Well, whatever your method is, you just won't let them get away so easily isn't it? Let alone fry your eggs (not males', okay!) right in front of you!

Well, it's actually a cooking show. Astro's Travel and Living. Yeap.

The chef actually whipped up a whole ostrich cruisine surrounded by 25++ ostriches, in the field. Aiseh, not scared meh?!? That takes some balls. I thought it'll be like whacking a guy in front of his 100 yakuza tattoed brothers. If you want to know, ostriches pack a mean peck and rivals Bruce Lee in the kicking department (VERY powerful legs). So I watched in wide-eyed anticipation as he cracks the huge egg slowly and nicely, breaking the yolk. Sadly, no torrents of flying beaks appeared. Instead, they are like so 'tidak-apa'. And the guy happily cooking. Quite fai. That's just so, haha-I've-got-your-babies-and-they-taste-greattttt!!!! *pause* NyehhhhHhh(uh, you'll only understand this if you've watched Kung-Pow)Hhhh.


Does it stop here? NoOoOo. The fella went off and the ostriches basically thrashed the area; spilling the oils, tasting the leftover ingredients, shaking the flour out of the bag etc. And I think, ahhh, maybe they are not so dumb after all...

They just had to prove me wrong you know.

Just then, they put their beaks into the cracked shell halves, to taste it! Actually there's leftovers of the egg in the bowl nearby and they tried that as well. Another three took the cover off the pot which contains stewing ostrich meat, and well, u know what happened! It was steaming hot, so only one managed to.


*smack head* I'm speechless.

Bah, cannibals. But then again, what do I expect from creatures whose eye is bigger than its brain? Any stupid-er, they'd be laying their eggs standing up.

Or right into a pot of boiling water for that matter.

Okay, the meat I can understand, it's all chopped up so you wouldn't know it's your kins right, stupid big birds? I mean, if a human is chopped up and it looks like regular chicken meat, you might unsuspectingly eat it and go, MmMmmm! Yummy in my tummy!

Erm. Eww. Not gonna be eating chicken rice for a while. Sorry if had disgusted anyone (gianne, gomen gomen!<-- yea disgusted myself. just replace 'gianne' with your name if yer insulted). *plonk* Just got hit by a memory. Skip this if you've fainted or having wobbly knees. It, apparently, tastes like pork. Testimony of a human cannibal before getting electrocuted to death. What a nice little irony. He's cooked.


Whole entry ranting about ostriches. I wonder who is more stupid.
Why am I acting so free? Two animatics to finish in two days, and half of it is gone. Completed none.
Bye-bye sleep.

1 comment:

gianne said...

from blog-city:

1. totoro left...
Wednesday, 28 September 2005 9:59 am :: http://da-fat-cat.blogspot.com

did u know that ostriches judge an opponent by height? they will attack when provoked, and it will hurt. but if you hold a stick up above your head so it's higher than them, then they will always run away.

survival instinct.

2. Giant Sotong left...
Wednesday, 28 September 2005 10:25 am :: http://bpbites.blogspot.com/

Wahahaha, you're talking about Keith Floyd, the Drunken Chef. That was a nice episode... except he couldn't cook the egg because it was too big.

If they were farmed ostriches, they would behave differently.

3. GenieOnTheLoose left...
Thursday, 29 September 2005 2:58 am

giant sotong: haha, you catch those cruisine shows oso? somehow i dont like floyd la... not nice, i prefer jamie oliver. can salivate for his food and his looks, hahaha. if they were farmed ostriches, how diff would they react?

totoro: really? so i could be like 1 meter tall and holding a stick that surpasses their height and they'd run? coolio. something to try if i ever get to meet one. heheh, play policeman and robbers, lol.