Sunday, February 26, 2006

Dreams that shake me

My toilet's light is broken. Actually for a few days now, so it has be a very 'romantic' shower with candles.
Yes yes, i know i should bathe in the morning, but I like bathing very late at night or in the wee hours of the morning (wee hours meaning, 4 am, because I'm not asleep yet. Like now.). And YES I know, doctors are already scheduling my future appointments for rheumatism. Ouh, aching bones.

Okay, it's not that romantic, it's on borderline creepy because my imagination would start whispering scary shit, and it doesn't help that one time in my room, there was no one around and I heard a sigh, and then just the other day my bro tells me that he heard someone breathing heavily in my room. Bloody! I do NOT, I repeat, do NOT need to hear that!!
Ya, it blinks, my toilet light does if you turn it on.

Weirdly though, my 'shaking' dreams stopped. I kinda miss it even though it's seriously scary in its silent way. Until today I do not know whether it means something or not; whether it's just my imagination, past life, someone on the other side trying to tell me something... All I have in my hands now are afterimages... no more collective toddlers crying, no more screaming, and even the singing lady-voice who appeared once and never heard of again. No more blond lady pointing and her cabin. How I couldn't wake up from it unless i forcefully move my body. . I guess the scariest one was when I was moving upwards in a pitch black place to a doorway of light; I couldn't stop and I keep saying it's not my time yet, it's not my time yet, and the worst thing was the first time in my 'shaking' dreams history, I couldn't wake myself up. Until i was a few metres away from the door, something, no not a voice, nor a sign, I don't what it is, but it says, it's not her time. Then I wake.

Once in a while, I'd feel guilty that I wasn't brave enough to explore the cabin the blond lady was pointing to, even though I had that dream for 4 years. Maybe there IS something inside, a fact needed be told, but I'm too chicken. It'll take some long explanation about what it is, and what I've dreamt, so I won't bore you with it (if I haven't bored you yet that is =P)

I guess it's because of my 'shaking' dreams, I got interested in parapsychology, the paranormal, spirits... basically what a human is capable of, unconsciously. Being connected to an untangible force. And lucid dreams; dreaming of being in the rain and actually feeling the raindrops on your face, running your palm on the corduroy couch and your fingers feel the ridges...

I do not believe in a Sumerian death; where after death, you could only look forward to a dark place with nothing but dusts as your companions. I believe in roads, long ones, with its own adventures and it's really a big U-turn back to Earth.

Another option is maybe I should just stay here and haunt people for fun or something.

Or something.

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