Monday, April 17, 2006

Sickness and obsession

Been suffering from headaches and dizziness for the past few days, that makes me lean against the nearest support to catch a breather or two. Then it's gone, and back to normal. And I have no desire lately to do my work (of which I'm regretting greatly now, since my one week holiday is over and there's me feeling damn bad that I've failed my own expectations again)

I'm not too entirely healthy; be fool not by the rosiness of my cheeks, because it's a facade, an irony to what I sometimes ail from. And it's a pity I can't even speak of it. Sometimes I feel so tied down by this. I love the outdoors, there's many adventures that I yearn to take,and yet there's this... the string to hot air balloons. The shackles that clang in mockery at my attempt to escape. The burden that not only I have to bear, but it is felt in my mother's mind (and not to mention, her purse as well). It's something I feel greatly guilty about, and when I truly think about it, there's a mother's love for you (as corny as it seems). I'm not exactly the Perfect Daughter, and I appreciate her care muchly (though I complain at times, XD).

Maybe it's true I don't take good care of myself at's my fault, a feeble try of rebellion that only mirrors back, thrice or more. Feel frustrated sometimes. I mean, when I was a kid, I was as healthy as healthy can be (minus the annual sore throat since I eat too much fried stuff > CNY), while my brother was the sickly one. The child that I was, I was proud that I don't suffer from asthma or nose bleeding or whatever childhood sickness you could think of. And now my brother is the healthier one.

A Korean doctor I've been seeing lately (I'll tell you another time! VERY Dae Jang Geum, wahahhaha!) tells me perhaps it's stress related. College? Yea, well partially, though there's no stress just yet (but it's just a evil witch with a hooked nose, cackling. "Soon, my deah, soooonnn..."). The main stress lies in another domain, much like a lion's den where trainer couldn't tame the beast.

Proof of blurness: [MSN chat]

Friend : hey how r u?
Me : dick
Friend : huh???? wrong window izzit? what u doing?
Me : NooooOO!!!!!! I meant SICK! S I C K !!!


Currently obsessed with this song. Been playing it over and over for hours. Mmmm. Ear candy. I simply love the lyrics... Go go, listen! ;P

Haven't been reading much lately, and I finally got started on "The Da Vinci Code". It was 3am then. Thought that I'll just read a couple of pages then go off to sleep... oh boy, how wrong I was. I read past halfway the book in one sitting, and only slept around 7am (after forcefully prying my eyes away from the text).... Goodness, this is one bloody good book!!! It's been a long time since a book that grabbed my full attention in such a long time (that I can't even remember the last book that had me on my seat's edge).

Plus it got me interested in my Pagan studies again.

1 comment:

gianne said...

1. Silhouette left...
Monday, 17 April 2006 10:01 am

Eh, the best medicine is sleep and rest you know? GET A REGULAR SLEEPING HABIT WOMAN! OR I'LL POP PILLS INTO YOUR MEALS

2. GenieOnTheLoose left...
Monday, 17 April 2006 5:55 pm

ahahahah!!! wow, so ganas~~ + I have a helper (you XD) to get myself addicted to drugs XDXD

No worries, just went to the doc, who gave me ample of drugs to get high on!!