Saturday, August 19, 2006

What happens if you love too many things?

Well, loving too many things could be akin to having multiple boyfriends (although I must admit I have no experience in having my own boy, let alone multiple ones at that ^_^;;;)... you can't juggle them properly. Whatever attention given to them will just be half-arsed, and it'll land you in a mass of confusion.

This poem could be my literature doppelganger. Now which of us shall disappear? Apparently if you knock into your doppelganger, one will disappear, and most likely it's you. However, the poem doesn't resemble me in any way physically, so I guess I'm safe. Yes. Mindless crapping I just did, really.

The Men Who Don't Fit In
- Robert W. Service

There's a race of men that don't fit in,
A race that can't stay still;
So they break th hearts of kith and kin,
And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and they rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain's crest;
Theirs is the curse of the gypsy blood,
And they don't know how to rest.

If they just went straight they might go far;
They are strong and brave and true;
But they're always tired of the things that are,
And they want the strange and new.
They say: "Could I find my proper groove,
What a deep mark I would make!"
So they chop and change, and each fresh move
Is only a fresh mistake.

And each forgets, as he strips and runs
With a brilliant, fitful pace,
It's the steady, quiet, plodding ones
Who win in the lifelong race.
And each forgets that his youth has fled,
Forgets that his prime is past,
Till he stands one day, with a hope that's dead,
In the glare of the truth at last.

He has failed, he has failed; he has missed his chance;
He has just done things by half.
Life's been a jolly good joke on him,
And now is the time to laugh.
Ha, ha! He is one of the Legion Lost;
He was never meant to win;
He's a rolling stone, and it's bred in the bone;
He's a man who won't fit in.

Reading this felt as though the little worried voice in my heart yelled through a speaker... a metaphoric fortune teller churning out a premonition from her hazy little crystal ball... for this habit of mine. It's a bit like Caesar, only without winning the battle: I saw, I tinkered, I left. (ML, stop nodding your head already!!! XD) Starting to really think what I want from this life of mine. It's been a fuzzy road, but art always returns and reigns on a Mount Everest-like top. The rest has to run behind it I suppose. And now... if only I know which would keep up.

Malaysian Mega Sale is killing my wallet slowly, with great pleasure. I rarely spend so much before, so I feel kinda guilty. Went gallivanting with LC and PY a few weeks back, and as usual I didn't feel like going home XD. I bought a Samuel&Kevin shirt (RM25 after a 50% discount) and this Radioactive bag (Value buy, RM35):

I really like it, because it reminds me of Vespas and Italy. The retro feel as well~ Other than those, I've gotten a vest, a shirt and a mini skirt from this secondhand clothes shop (American Bundle) near my area. Two earrings from this vintage themed store in Sg Wang's 6th floor; I adore looking at the deco... Old records hanging on wall, posters from 1970s/1980s, vintage luggages and one of them was opened to display earrings (<-- instant infatuation), and even the owner of the shop looks like he too made a trip in Doraemon's magic desk ^o^~~. From Axxezz, a decora hairband and a set of earrings and necklace. A pair of shoes since mine were falling apart. Broke as hell!!! ARGH! Need! to! save up!!! Backpacking trip with PY and LC in a few years. I really hope that it'll happen, and not remain as a dream. Perhaps when I start working, I should try for a job in Singapore or something, because the currency exchange rate is better. Have been thinking a lot about pursuing a job in arts field, because it's not as cracked up to be. As in, I still want to do art for the rest of my life, but the thing is, it really depends on luck. Perhaps you'll get a job in arts that requires you to do mindless editting and not being able to have creative freedom. And it will be hectic, therefore you have no time to pursue personal projects. Now compare it to other jobs where you're certain you could leave the office at say, 5pm. Yet I'm still rather reluctant either way, though LC told me that I won't be happy if I'm not in the art field. Ah, decisions, decisions. There'll prolly be another post abt this, because I'm just running words through my fingers as it's dinnertime and I'm going to makan~~ The lure of foooodddddddd~~~ most probably, very fat ( ; __ ;)

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