Sunday, October 29, 2006


You know you've spent too much time on the computer when you accidently insulted someone and you find yourself reaching for the Ctrl+Z button.

Busy as hell, although I must admit I lazed off for a few days because at that point, I didn't know why the heck am I torturing myself so much. Is it worth it, I wonder? Do not be mistaken, I love drawing and animating, it's just... I'm itching to take a break and indulge in some other crafts.

Three half-written blog entries saved in Notepad. And they involve pictures. Wait ya!

I was feeling rather nostalgic yesterday, and logged on the my very-long forgotten ICQ, using meebo. ICQ holds many memories for me, because I've found new friends from there, had a few major arguments on it, and through it,mended a n almost-broken friendship. I used to spend HOURS just chatting on ICQ, and I still love hearing that 'uh-oh!' sound.

So anyway, none of my 100++ ICQfriends use it anymore, and instead, I'd get people like, hihi!!! asl? wanna sex? and can't carry a conversation AT ALL. They go, "icic" all the time, and then when you finally get bored of the recording machine, they would go, "u there?" 5 seconds later. "u there?"

Getting harder to get a decent chat. Lazy to be wading through 32489728957 chats just to get a decent one (<--rare), and it's something I don't bother doing anymore.

I'm jaded, hahaha.

So, sample extracted conversations i've gotten yesterday, i'm 14095578, lazy to edit, hahaha! (btw, they find me, not vice versa):

[01:23] 1025732
**: you how tall?
[01:23] 14095578: hahah the better question would be 'how short are you'
[01:23] 1025732
**: i c
[01:24] 14095578: yep... hobbit height.
[01:24] 14095578: 156cm i think?
[01:24] 1025732
**: i c
[01:24] 14095578: why suddenly ask my height? u 140cm is it? XDXD
[01:24] 1025732
**: so u got many many bf ah
[01:24] 14095578: yea, many until they have to take number
[01:24] 14095578: worse than go line up for mykad
[2 minutes silence]
[01:26] 1025732
**: serious ?
[01:26] 1025732
**: so many ?
[01:26] 1025732
**: so amny bf
[01:26] 1025732
**: many bf
[01:26] 1025732
**: hey r u a open minded gal ah
[01:26] 1025732
**: jus askin lor
[01:26] 1025732
**: u mind i ask is it
[01:27] 14095578: zomg
[01:27] 14095578: you believe me?
[01:27] 14095578: nolah, i don't mind. pretty open minded i suppose?
[01:28] 10257325*: hey r u open minded gal (<-- me: nabeh, ask again!!)
[01:28] 14095578: i guess so
[01:28] 14095578: but if that's the prelude to asking me for cybersex, i dun want =(
[silence forevaaaa]

[01:28] 3246116
**: hi dear ru wearing a bra?
[01:29] 14095578: actually i'm wearing boxers
[01:29] 3246116
**: huh?
[01:29] 3246116
**: im horny...wanna sex wif me?
[01:29] 14095578: sure!! can i b top???
[01:29] 14095578: my name is richard, remember to scream it lustfully later.

Got two more, but I didn't copy it in Notepad. Sigh. Oh, asterisks to protect the horny XDXD

Not gonna log on to ICQ anymore, harrumph!

Friday, October 13, 2006

Crumbling Bridges, Threads and the Game of Life

I was considering, and seriously tempted, to name this "gianne's bridge is falling down~ falling down~ falling down~"... but... isn't that lame? XD

This was written a week ago. It's rather long-winded and depressing, so don't say I didn't warn you!! It's a strange tendency that my heart feels obliged to decrease my happy chemical dosage whenever my birthday or the new year approaches.

Why do i keep building false bridges that will crumble and fall? The pretence will only stand for that long.

Why can't I find the strings that links people together? They tell me that it's right in front of me, but I can't spot it, I can't see it. If lies are to make me feel better, it doesn't.

Sometimes I wake up and notice a blue thread around my finger. I feel very happy at the blue thread that connects me to another person. It could be a friend, a relative, a child. I'd tug on the string, send down little gifts using a hook on the line and be extra careful that it will not drop off. But the moment it starts to turn into a darker richer colour (or worse, red), starting from the end that is not mine, the thread feels as if it's cutting off my finger's blood supply, and frantically, I try to release it. In nervousness, I snip it. Only after I'd realise my folly. Silently, I tied the broken ends together,but it's never the same as before. When I tug it, the broken part would untie; the person do not notice my call, but feels the string flailing in the wind - the distance and loss. And when I send little gifts down, it will always get caught in that old wound. I feel so sorry for the hurt I've unintentionally caused. Just because of that possible shift in relationship.

Because of this, even when I'm surrounded by people, I still feel as though a ring of river separates me from them. Me in my little isolated island, under that one coconut tree. Then I build bridges that never seem to last long enough.

Sometimes I feel hopeless without a manual. I don't own an "auto pilot". God forgot to install a little life instruction book into me. Maybe you're all the newer versions while I'm a remake of a vintage prototype. Damn manual controls. Of course, each versions have their personal struggles and this is mine. So I plod along, trying to understand, trying to take in all. Oh, we're supposed to be like this? Do it like this? I see, I see... 20 years on, I'm still confused and bewildred as I am before. Yes, I'm learning, but how slowly it is. Some things cannot be changed.

A friend once told me that even though I'm upset, but 5 minutes later, I'd 'bounce' up again. True or false? You tell me. If it's true, then I'm very tired of picking myself off the ground and say, "it's okay, it's okay", pat the dust off my clothes and walk again smiling. Is it really okay? Perhaps I repeat those words to myself all the time, one day it will actually come true.

Did it? To a certain extent, yes. Relapses do occur occasionally (like now, haha). What's the point? I really wish I can reach the day when I'll be perfectly happy just as I am.Stop getting angry at myself for the things I've done or the things I should had said, or had not. Because my talent as a person is lacking, all I can do is to keep becoming better, but at the moment, I feel that my efforts have not paid off. It's sad to understand that I'm like that in every other aspect of my life; I'm just inept at it. But hey, I try. Not that it sounds like a consolation to me though. Every fall hurts and bruises. My skin is thick, but I can still feel.

I do understand that my constant effort is one of my main strength, but these words is always on the back of my mind:

Insisting on playing a game for which, after a fair amount of time,
you show no natural aptitude is frustrating to you and annoying to all,
but the most complacent opponents.

Should I resume playing this 'game'?

And to the question 60% of you might have in your mind... the answer is NO, I'm not PMS-ing. (dammit, can't I be depressed even when it's not that time of month?)


To my one week old question, I shall give a one-week-old answer in return, and the answer is, yes, I should.

The quote above kinda makes me think of path we choose to walk as well. After we finish secondary school, then enrol in a course, and after a while, some of us may have doubts to their choice. "Is this right for me?" A barrage of worries. It's never as simple as when we were 7 year olds, and when asked what we'd like to be in the future, we'd all go in chorus, "DOCTOR! PILOT!" (or maybe like that unforgetable boy who went, "GOD!" <-- FTW!!!)

Because most of us aren't immediately supplied with talents for said course. For those who are... well, damn you! (jkjk =P) It's not unusual to feel discouraged. It's also not unusual to have wobbly skills in the beginning. That's what classes are for ;P. Even though the quote above have some truth to it, don't let it pull you down and make you give up so easily. But of course, if you hate what you're doing, feel free to leave (if your parents allow it anyway), but if you do love and enjoy it... a try is definitely worth it.

The paragraphs above is dedicated to someone. You know who you are. Besides, it's only been your first year! I think in your case, the door should be unlocked, and you're free to leave, but you don't. I wonder what does that mean =P. Learn more, explore more in your field, outside of classes.

At the end of the day, it's ultimately your choice because you would know your capabilities the best (well, a chat with lecturers may help) and where your passion lies. Sorry if I ended up sounding irrelevant and stuff ^_^;;;

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Dah tua? Apa tu??

Okay, was supposed to post this on 10/10/06 12am, but was havin' trouble with Blog-City TT_TT. Anyway....

HAPPY *age-censored* BIRTHDAY, MA!!!

*hughug momsies* Don't worry, you look younger than you are =P!!

Two people from her office gave her a chocolate cake EACH... sek tou zhai jor!!! (<-- eat until wanna vomit, lol). My dad gave her a lovely banquet of roses and her office gave her these gorgeous bunch of flowers mixed with berries!! The latter is so gorgeous, reminds me of wild flowers. I wonder if you can eat them berries, hmmmmm.... *gets smacked* XD. Her friends are over here right now, and I'm the official dishwasher of the day XD

My card to her:

Was trying a new style, you know those lineless cutesy simple greeting card type... Spent about 6-8 hours on and off to finish it. I'm so slow TT_TT. Printing shop oso closed liau. Also, I didn't know it's quite hard to do (well, for me anyway, lol)

But! She liked it, so I feel happy... I know, gotta get her a proper present. Why didn't I get it earlier? Seriously, long story, got another person involved and the more I think of it, the more pissed off I am. ERGH, GRAHHH!!!! *godzilla-smash doors and put hole through solid concrete wall* So the card is the least I can do at a short moment notice. Does the time spent and effort counts? I hope so TT_TT

Anyhoo, the conversation that ensued -->

mom : is this woman supposed to be me?
me : ...yea
mom : her hair is not right, my hair is straight
me : the wind is blowing ... (<--bullshit)
mom : got such thing...? don't look like me la...
me : aiyah, i got make her look fatter already!!
mom : ...

*pap* I fail as a daughter. Haha, no la, she was jokey abt it.

My mom is smart. Observe:

When I was back on my pc, she was like, show me how you do.

me : okay dokes *opens photoshop file*
mam : can make my hair straight?
me : okay. *makes hair straight*
mam : good good. eh, while you're at it, i got fringe, you know. add that!!
me : okay.
mam : hey! not so thick! my fringe is wispy wispy one!!
me : hmmm, okay. *wispy it*
mam : ah, better. looks more like me now. how about my dimples?
me : wah-liu, this is your self design greeting card station is it? *do the dimples*
mam : ...
me : ...
mam : that one dun look like dimples... make it something like a comma, you know, with the little circle?
me : *does that* ... omg, HAHAHA!!!
mam : ....................
me : ... HAHAHA! is it me, or does it look more like you have a mini moustache? (<-- unintentional. Really!!!)

other requests
mam : why isn't madie and mocha in there? (my other two dogs)
me : *dies*

me : want me to make her bigger-sized?
mam : .... don't.

So now it looks like this:

(yes, I gave up drawing them dimples...)
And didn't draw my other dogs...)

A close-up of Mylo: here. Mylo is supposed to look more menacing (well, as much as she can anyway XDXD) with the thought bubble "NO TOUCHY MY MOMMY" since she's so protective (again, as much as she can =DDDD) of my mom, but after I'm done with my mom and the cake, it's like, no space for Mylo to stand on... TT_TT It's my first time drawing an animal though, and I'm quite happy with it.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

V Iberoamerican Film Festival 2006 is in town!


Spanish film fest in KL... I think it's South America? (sorry, am really bad at Geography) Loads of award winning movie! Love film fests! I really want to watch every single one of them, but alas, I could only make room for 2-3 shows. Prolly going for the Friday one and for 'Tainah: An Amazonian Adventure' (because this sounds very good. oh, it's for children too)

Schedule and map at the bottom. There's two summaries for two movies as well. Yes, there will be English subtitles.
And the words that people like to hear: ADMISSION FREE (don't worry, I like it too!!!).

Who wants to go with me? Wanted to tell my college, but I have no idea who is in charge of the Film Club TT_TT. Anyway, spread the word!

(if the image doesn't appear, it just says "V Iberoamerican Film Festival 2006 @ Wisma SGM, 8-15 Oct)
To cut my blog length shorter, lol: here's the details

Friday, October 06, 2006

Birthday Wishes.. Iro iro mono ga hoshii desu yo~

It's so sad. For three years straight, I haven't been celebrating me bday properly T_T. October is usually the peak of assignment rushing, so yea... Wanted to take the day off college actually, but but now we can't skip the class, else our project will be forfeited or smthg. gianne sad sad TT_TT *do Tamaki's corner of gloom* Thank god that I'm already a graduate by the time my 21st bday saunters by!

Anyhoo,just for suka-suka, here's my wishlist because Pui Yee got wishlist, I want also... XDXD

Number one: A new computer. Big flourescent sign of "DUH!" I want a cepat one. Cepat process data, bukan cepat rosak tau! 2GB ram, graphic card yg terror (oklah. bukan high end sangat... boleh main Sims 2 dah cukup!! hahahah!!! *kenasepak*)... Lagi lagi, harddisk mau 160GB! Tetapi harddisk bukan penting sangat, kerana dah ada yang 80GB. Siapa nak beli komputer baru bagi I?!? Hahah, ya la, suruh saya terus mimpi kan!!

Number two: Wacom tablet. I mean, my Genius is serving me well enough, and it's not the tools that matter but the skill... but I keep hearing people rave and rave on about Wacom. It's bloody pricey dey! I mean, 4x6 for RM300++??? SIAU! Mine is Genius 8x6 and it's only RM100++! Yes, yes, I know, the quality, high sensitivity and all that... I've been using my tablet a lot lately, and we're becoming close friends, lol

Number three: ROCKING HORSE SHOES!!! I'm currently in deep deep meaningful love with these babies! It's unexplainable, so just accept it!!!

The real deal: Vivienne Westwood


At first glance it looks rather weird, and honestly when I first saw them on the net, I'm like, "WTFMATE!" But it grew on me. A LOT. The manga Nana was the main culprit, I'd say. Rocking horse shoes were designed by Vivienne Westwood for the London punk scene wayyyyy back in 70s, but at the moment, it's associated with the lolita fashion. Yep, lolita fashion, poofed up skirts and all. Well, VW DID bring back crinolines, albeit they are mini crini.

Miwitch (SGcafe)

The originals, of course, are expensive. So thank god for knockoffs! I'm eyeing the seller, miwitch from sgcafe(Singapore). It's about S$90, shipping not included.... GAH!! I want all of them colours o(>.<)o!! Wood, not foam please =DD Number four: Boots. Yum yum.

Biker boots? Nana?

Innocent World boots
Innocent World boots (GAH THIS IS SO PRETTY!)

Just below knees would be perfect. Laced up boots make me very happy. Buckles would be lovely too. Boots with hell-- I mean, heels on them not good. Kore wa dame desu yo! A little platform would be fine though. BTW, I swear to the life of Smoochy that I'm not into S&M. Even though it's boots fetish...

Number five: Some kind of gift certificate for Borders / MPH / Kinokuniya? Haven't gotten any new books in AGES. The KiteRunner, Lolita.. Yah, not only the words kind, I want picture books too! Like in Kinokuniya JP, there's this Studio Ghibli's storybooks like Totoro, Spirited Away and Howl's Moving Castle. It's for kids who knows Japanese, but the pictures are salivation-worthy and I can brush up my Nihongo with them simple words! Also, Comickers (1 & 2) artbook!! Range Murata and Hyung Tae Kim's will make me very very happy. So will Norman Rockwell's drawings... EXPOSE as well ... OMGJUSTGIVEMETHEWHOLEBOOKSTORE!!!

Number six, novelty-print fabrics! Cute fabrics! Or anything that is cute, lol. These days I'm stung with the disease called "Fatal Attraction to Cuteness", and it doesn't help that Seiji sauntered into class one day with some McD Hello Kitty "Kittybrick".

Snagged this off a forum

Quite a few of us are enamored by the adorableness and made trips to McD (gemukness!!) to buy them. It's so funny; me and Kez went to the drivethru and before the McD girl could say anything, Kez was like, "Got this and this colour anot?" Didn't ask abt the food at all, LOL! Ohh, I've got three; 2-colour blue, pink and green \(^_^)/!!! Available at your nearest Mc D today! BTW, you can get an apple pie and then buy 36 of them Kittybricks! Of course, bukan saya... some toy collectors did that ^_^;;; Not sure if it's only an apple pie la, it's just an example... but you can just get order one McD food and buy multiple Kittybricks.

Number seven: Tights from here . SUPER GORGEOUS PRINTS!

Number eight: Cartilage piercings. Am half torn between the RM8 choice (gun...but with possibility of ending up with shriveled ears) or the RM100++ (needle and safe). Sigh.

Number nine: LOURDS CD!!!! Plane ticket to NY would be better, but I shouldn't be so greedy (Right.)

Number ten: Last but not least....















Look! Chocolate cake!! XDXD

Okay, let's make this clear first: I just want Josh Hartnett, Joseph Gordon Levitt and Hero/Jaejoong to do a Chippendale flex their muscles or smthg =DDD. Now, Robin Williams will be the .... entertainer/comedian!! Harrumph, do you think I'm Anna Nicole or smthg? Anyway, he was the first actor that got into my 'Favourite' list. Started with Mrs Doubtfire methink. He's simply brilliant in his voice impersonations (sp?). This guy is not given enough credit for his work! Grr!! And yes, I used to watch "Mork and Mindy". It's my wish to watch every single damn movie he's in!

Ah~ Gordon Levitt is in a suit... *gets smacked multiple times*

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Animation (PSA) for UNICEF

Yosh! Recently my class just completed our public service announcement (PSA) for UNICEF! It's really nice to be able to do something for UNICEF~ All PSA are 30 secs each. Oh, it'll be awesome of you if you could go to the YouTube page itself and leave us some comments. Anyhoo, mine:

Short explanation of my concept

Watch first then only read ya! Hope you get the msg ^_^;;

(start highlight)The girl’s seemingly innocently pretend play is actually a recreation of her longing for loving parents. I wanted to put the audience behind the eyes of an innocent child, and only then they get to see the girl from the dollhouse’s POV. Although theory-wise, it's being ‘seen’ from the dollhouse’s POV, it is actually the girl appealing to the audience; a dollhouse can’t do anything for the child, but we, the audience, CAN change her world.

The girl's world, in comparison with the doll's, is dark and bleak. The light source comes from the dollhouse. When the girl brings out the doll from the dollhouse and INTO her world, the light leaves the said doll and shadow replaces it. The girl tilts her head in the same direction as the doll, because she kinda wishes to trade places with the doll, as the doll's world seem so much brighter.
(end highlight)

Must. Be. Pimpin' my classmates' PSA!! XDXD:

Kezia Koo Huan Lan

Seong Jee Kuan

Adam Kitingan

(PS: Classmates, if you've uploaded yours, tell me, and I'll put the link up!)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Of frustration

The pimplies have arrived!!! ;__;

Why do I always get those pimples that 'blooms' too deep? As in, you can't even get the satisfaction of squeezing the white goo out, it's just a lump that is painful when pressed. On other news, my eye bags are getting darker, feeling lazy to dress up for college, my room looks like a storeroom, and my sleeping time is screwed up beyond recognition.... Aaaah, the smell of assignments wafting in the air... Actually, it's not like a slight cool breeze. It's more like an onslaught of fog or haze TT_TT. Banyaknye!!!

My computer has been exercising my patience lately, with very frequent 'hanging'. I mean, I could have all the programs shut down, and only be playing solitaire and it will still hang. NOT the program, the whole system. That's why I Ctrl+S all the friggin' time when I'm doing my work.

I still find it bearable when I was working on my motion graphics. I mean, sure, it's slow and hangs at least twice a day, but I can handle it! *SUPPA DUPPA WORKA!!!* XD

BUT it pushed my patience to the max when I was doing 3D.

It's only a simple cupcake, and yesterday my computer system crash for no less than five times. What I lost were mostly it's those minuscule adjustments to make the cupcake NOT look bumpy, weird or diseased. Goddamn time consuming. The final crash bit the cake. Like literally. One perfect good, FINISHED cupcake. Because when I restarted my computer after it hang on me, the file was corrupted and cannot be opened for the life of Smoochy!

Ended up working up till 7am, until I can't take it anymore, and went to bed. I was planning to sleep at 5am T_T. Frus la! Considering that I can wipe out 3 real life cupcakes in 10 minutes, here am I, spending so much time modelling a cupcake that I can't even have a nibble on TT_TT

So, you see, I really didn't have mood for 3D after what happened. So, besides being rather impatient in class, when my 3D lect told me about reactors(RAM suicide) to explode my 3d cupcake, I straightaway went, "Don't think my computer can handle it." "Instead of 3 cupcake designs, can I do just one?" "It's not the amount of polygons that is causing it, it's my whole computer."

Head: Man, if I were in his shoes, you're the stupid lazy student who doesn't want to do her work. At least not put your whole heart in it. Hasn't D.H. Lawrence taught you anything?? Honestly though, whether your computer sucks or not, it's not his bloody problem! I gotta figure it out, and YOU better be nice.
Heart: So. YOU buy me new pc?
Head: ... Go to hell.
Heart: Hey, no blood for you!
Head: *prays for artificial machine heart to be cheap*

So yea... those were running through me at that time, but feelings overpowered mouth instead. Oh my god, I feel like an asshole. Dunno why I feel so awful abt this.

Made Kez late to watching her darling handsome Gong-chai in 'My Girl', ahhaha. 'My Girl' is this Korean drama on 8TV, weekdays 8.30-9.30pm. The other actor is none other than the very feminine Lee Junki! Also can be considered leng chai la. Her mom is also a fan of that show. Anyway, when we left college, it was around 8.30pm and she gave her call to her mom to say she's leaving college now. Then just before she put down her cell ...

(loose translation from Canto)

Kez: What the!
Me : Eh? What did your mom say?
Kez: She say she'll watch the lengchais on my behalf wor!! TT_TT
Me : HAHAHA!!! Wei, I like your mom!!!

... but of course, I wuv my mom the best! (<-- in case she's reading the above, XDXD) Speaking me mom, it's gonna be her *age-censored* birthday on the 10th! Anyone want to wish her the lovely woman who gave birth to this gorgeous hippo a happy birthday?? Mine is just three days after hers. I kinda disappointed her 20 years ago, because I simply refused to come out on her birthday. Must be too comfortable XDXD.