It went on for centuries because the little bugger
Finally the wise old creature with many beards (= more to raba when thinking) came down from his mountain after listening to that for centuries (also another case of JWD) and inquires:
"Is something bothering you, little red screaming one?"
AAAAaaaaa-YES! Could you please...!?!
... please remove the pin from my back?!?!?!??!
Level of crappiness is rising. Oh, it's something I made out of felt many months back. Looks like a drunk Domo-kun wth. I had a yellow happy version, but I gave it to Geu Rie, this little Korean girl for her birthday (she requested a yellow or pink; I only had yellow felt)
Gee, I'm blogging more than usual. I wonder why. It's assignment season, dammit!!
Naturally my ass have been planted in front of the computer for so long, I'm starting to grow mushrooms. Let's not speak of where. Knowing how good my concentration skills are, the cursor would scroll nonchalantly over to the firefox icon once every hour. When I do have free time (also known as standing up, go downstairs, have a snack and to remove mushrooms), I kick myself repeatedly for not choosing to do website or at least something simpler than drawing frame-by-frame animation for my final assignment evaaaa.
Bad habit of doing other things when I'm busy and a bad tendency to bring problems to self. Meh.
Also, big news:
blog-city is no longer offering free accounts.
Therefore my glorious ode of adoration should be furiously torn into pieces, chucked into a bin and burnt. Burn for a long long time.
Friggin' disappointed really. Not much of the fact that it's a superb blog host or something, but it's more to the fact that it's been, in a way, a sanctuary for me for the past four years.
LC started it first; he kept jumping up and down like a hobbit he is, until he got what he wanted, which was for me and Pui Yee to sign up in blog-city, so we can spam each other's blogs. I admit, it was great fun because everytime we update we'd force each other to have a look at it. Force as in:
ME: I just updated my blog. Go read.
ME: Don't malas, faster read!
ME: You'd better leave comment too!!
ME: Don't dot dot dot. Proper comment ok?
ME: Have you read it yet?
ME: It's <insert URL>
ME: REMEMBER IT'S <insert URL>
ME: Read yet?
ME: Read yet?
ME: Read yet?
LC: I'm reading la, fat.
ME: Oh good.
ME: Leave comment ya?
LC: ... - regret for asking gianne to sign up-
... or something like that. Forced by annoyance and harassment via ICQ/MSN XD
I started blogging when I was in Form 5. -reads it- Oh my god, I can't believe I was that sort of juvenile delinquent.
Since then I have shedded the blue pinafore, received a much needed scholarship, went to college, yumcha-ed for the first time, got lost in the labyrinth of life, found out what it is to be a friend, went through a turning point of my life, got bitten by the need to see the world, learnt more than I ever had and am about to graduate with a diploma.
Maybe it's not much, but these four years mean a lot to me.
In a way, all that has happened in the past few years was just me, as cliche as it sounds, trying to be a better person and to seek this elusive creature called 'Happiness'. Yet I'm still essentially me. I'm still making lame jokes. I'm still finding humour in the seriousness of life. I'm still saying the wrong things at the wrong time. I still stammer and shake in front of an audience. I'm still the person who digresses a lot in her writing (haha). I'm still that confused person; only I used to grope in the dark with only a dim flashlight. My world didn't go beyond the reach of my hands. But now the lights have been turned on and I'm marveled by the vast world that surrounds me. It's scary and it's humbling, and I'm glad with a dash of gratefulness.
I don't really know how to put it in words, but I've come to a point... I'm not afraid of myself anymore. I'm being me, more and more each day. My heart has grown bigger by the things that I've experienced and seen. To say I've totally found myself would be a lie, but I'm getting closer. My dreams are not materially lavish anymore. I could see what kind of person I truly want to be. Not the ones I had idly dreamt of while in class. Not the ones that lives a golden glitter and glamour life. Not the ones that snickers and leaves you behind because you're scrambling and tripping and you will never reach it. Not the ones where I try to fit my feet in another's shoes, but discover I might have to chop off two toes to do that.
Surprisingly, it's the one that I dreamt when I was a child, with a sprinkle of adult sense. Not the perfect ones. An ordinary dream with flaws and a Swiss Army knife for safety. It's the one that pisses you off in the morning, but you return to it at night. It's also the only one whose smile can fill your heart up to the brim, and makes everything worthwhile.
Whilst I writing in here, the tempurung that I lived in cracked open, and the tentative steps out has turned into skipping footsteps. I'm laughing more, and living more.
My journey resumes here:
If you link me, please minus the '-city' and replace it with 'spot', thank you for your kind co-operation (said thank you already, therefore you gotta do it XDXD).
I've been slowly shifting there since 2003, though I have a few more to go. I apologise for the stark layout because currently my assignment is eating my life.
I better put this shifting announcement in another short entry because I don't know who the heck reads my long entries till the end, hahah (suddenly feel sad orz XDXD)