Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Still Pond

A peaceful pond waiting for something; a fallen leaf, a stray pebble, a dehydrated frog... anything to disturb the stillness.

Fresh oxygen into the water. Maybe these bubbles could revive a dead person from the bottom of the pond. Maybe she'll float to the surface and regain life again.

It does cross my mind; questions of where did that spunky free-spirited girl disappeared to... and whether am I still passionately in love with life. Where is the girl who could come up with witty replies and garner a round of laughs? The easily excited one. Why am I so cautious now? Weren't you ever in a situation that makes you feel like you're walking on a mine field?

My friend tells me to get rid of my underlying anger. What anger, I ask. I don't have any. But even he could see past my sugar coated words. Is it really anger, or is it fear? Is it a defense of something I could not really comprehend?

Does life experience really change you? I'm only 21; I've only had a thin slice of that cake. Why do I feel as though I'm already half-full with sadness?

Part of me want to restore that spirit. Part of me tells me that it's the process of growing up. Repair yourself or don't look back. How torn can I be?

Now I'm more quiet. I look at people and think. I laugh at my colleague's hilarious antics but I do not join in.

Despite the forlorn-like words above, I didn't feel sad on the eve of my birthday. Which is so rare. Such is that strange calmness and contentment of the big 21. Maybe I'm just accepting the fact that I can never reach the level I want to... that I should be content with being ordinary. A simple girl who is just trying to be be more than what she can be.

And that is okay.

Monday, October 08, 2007

The Perfect Man

Oh, why am I so lazy to blog these days? I used to be a happy hippo who ruins keyboard after keyboard due to my vigorous typing and heavy um... whatdyacalledahippohand. Tons of unedited pictures lay impatiently in my computer. Booing me. Damn them.

Work is teaching me some values. Like, patience. It's kinda odd to have people looking at you for answers when in a way, I consider them as my peers. I'm still having trouble getting my point across. Still, I'm glad I'm doing this though.

I'm so. so. so. so. broke this month. Birthdays mostly.

The pinnacle of my social life equals to me being tagged XDDDDDDDD. Thanks Sheryl!!!

1. The tag victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect lover.
2. Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
3. Tag eight other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
4. If you are tagged the second time, there is NO need to do this again.
5. Lastly, and most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT.

8 different points about my perfect lover

- Responsible and compassionate..
- There's something about confidence... It's sexy! Hahahaha! But not to the point of arrogance, definitely.
- Secure. As in not being suspicious of me when I'm in a company of a guy (gasp!), girl (scandal!) or dog (wtf....!!) etc.
- Someone who stimulates me. And I meant that intellectually, you perv.
- Broad shoulders. Glorious fantastic strong br- okay i'll stop now. (So will the drooling.)
- Although SNAGs would probably be good for my sanity, a little Me-Tarzan-You-Jane would be lovely. (Sorry la, I grew up on Mills&Boons...)
- Easy going, fun loving, adventurous and outdoorsy. So he won't be afraid of new experiences when we go backpacking or something.
- And most importantly, love me as I am. (*holds up "Tilt head & go, 'Awwwwwww...'" sign*)

That's more than 8 points actually, haha! But it's always good to make a list. Like Suki (PV07) said, it's easier to kill off options wtf.

Oh yes, tagging:
- PY
- ML
- Charlene
- Runawaycat
- Seiji
- And whoever wants to la!

I should really be sleeping now.