Friday, May 16, 2008

Music & Being an Alien

Songs that I could listen to over and over in an infinite loop;

Go for a ride
The road opens wide
Nobody knows
These trials and woes

Now it's just me and the bees
In a cyclone of falling leaves
- the softies,
me and the bees

Dance with me my old friend
once before we go
Let's pretend this song won't end
and we never have to go home
and we'll dance among the chandeliers
And nothing matters when we're dancing
-the magnetic fields,
nothing matters when we're dancing

Whenever I listen to these two songs, I'm transported to another place. Like discovering a lake shaded with melancholy trees... and seeing a lone boat peeking, like a secret whisper. The next thing you know, you've set the boat off into the lake and you're on it. You lie down and watch the blue skies and traveling clouds pass by. The boat floats to somewhere or nowhere, but it doesn't matter.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
-michael buble, everything

The first time I saw you, you turned away.
I couldn't hear with the noise ringing in my ears.
Do you remember where we used to sleep at night?
I couldn't feel you. You're always so far away.
- plus 44, make you smile

Call my Aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me
In all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
Cause the hardest part of this,
Is leaving you.
- my chemical romance, cancer

the most remarkable thing about you
standing in the doorway is that it's you
and that you're standing in the doorway
and you smile as you ease the gun from my hand
and i'm frozen with joy right where i stand

the world throws its light underneath your hair
forty miles from atlanta, this is nowhere
going to georgia
- the mountain goats, going to georgia

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be cheating on you
It's the wrong time
She's pulling me through
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse
- damien rice, 9 crimes

Totally unrelated to the songs... do you know what I hate?

Feeling as though I need to be constantly validated. As though at the end of my life, a report card will be chucked into my arms. Will I get A's in the things I want, and yearn for? Will the comments bracket be filled with "Good job!" or "Try harder."? I wish I knew what I'm doing wrong, or doing right. I wish I could ask without sounding like an insecure little prat. Manual-less people like me are at the mercy of screwing up; Acting out of the ordinary. Not being your average feminine girl. Saying weird things like tentacles. Heck, someone pretty much told me today that I'm from another planet. Maybe that's why I find it hard to truly click with someone...?

Is it that bad being an alien? Maybe it is, but the good makes up for the bad. It's like what Gibran said, about the same cup that holds your sorrows has the same capacity that you could hold joy in. I have had many happy times, being an alien ;P. Even if we have to take in more shit from some 'normal' beings on Earth, who has no qualms of telling an alien that he/she are not worthy. That's a pretty cruel thing to do, man. I'd chose being an alien over an arrogant bastard any day.

Call me an idealistic hippo, but I'd want to live my life in a way that I won't regret it. I want for my younger self, the child that was once me, to look at me now and feel proud. I want to remain being an alien (because there's no other way, really) and of course, improve for the better, and not for the molds that some people holds out for me to step into.

Who knows, maybe the path I choose may not be the right one...but I'd regret it more if I didn't at least try.


Silhouette said...

Can melancholy be telephatic?...shit... you know sometimes I wish I could read minds just so that I could get everything right.

I wish I knew my entire lifes plan so that I don't have to bob for apples with a blindfold.

I wish I knew how to be happy.

Miss Anis said...

but the moment you get everything right, is the moment you will lose all the fun. heck, for all i care just be yourself. i rather hang out with a kid who knows how to appreciate fart jokes rather than miss primrose proper and table napkins. now that is a mega bore.

anyway, i like you kiddo just the way you are ;)

Charl said...

i'd so hate u if u were all ultra-feminine & never included words like tentacles in your conversation. for one thing, we probly wouldnt be friends becoz u would then be disgusted by my unsightly table manners & my insistence on dressing like a teenage punk. & u would hv been way too ladylike to fully enjoy the MCR concert with me. btw i totally spazzed when i saw Cancer on ur list. i just do that a lot. i spaz when i hear someone else playing MCR on their iTunes or mp3 player...i'm like "AAAhhhh!! a kindred spirit" .. well no, not really. becoz they'd look at me like i'm an alien. which brings us back to topic!

Why should we be ordinary? aren't there, for jesus' sake, enuf ordinary ppl in the world? smtimes i wonder why we spend so much of our energy trying to please ppl who wouldnt do us a good turn if we were the last beings on the planet.

i've never worried abt being strange. i'm more worried abt being the best i can be -- which can smtimes work against me becoz i get obsessed & neurotic & insecure if i dont do smthing well.. (so erm, dont be like me in dat way. please.) i'm also worried abt not being understood by a too-ordinary society. but thanks to u, that worry has been greatly diminished. yay to tentacles, chor-lor-ness & inspiring lyrics!!! (spazzes again)

speaking of lyrcis, i dunno if ive mentioned this before but once when i was having a troubled dream, the episode ended in a bookstore & i was browsing that bookstore in the dream, the Beatles song Across The Universe started playing, & i felt so at peace after that. im not sure what it all emans but that song has been special for me ever since. & i sing it when im sad or troubled. go look up the lyrics & music, the chorus especially is so calming & Buddhist-like.

gianne said...

munz: It would be insanely boring to be able to read minds. I mean, it's a novelty, but as all novelties do, it wears off. And we'd prolly learn nothing :/. We're just slaves to their wants and thoughts.

I like the imagery of bobbing apples blindfolded... but after time, we're prolly get more pro at it? As in, we would -still- miss the stalk, but it would be done with more flair and dignity hahahaha

I wish I knew how to stay happy :(

anis: hahah imagine if our black fortress is like, stepford housewives reincarnated, both gender included. imagine if longman doesn't tell us disturbing things or smile evilly/happily AFTER telling us disturbing things TT__TT. like if the teochew clan was normal (refering to the one who doesn't go, 'DONCH!!DONCH!!!')... the world will come to an end (at least for -my- world hahahah)

charl: i like your fashion sense okay wtf because there's just so much souln in it. i wasn't even a fan of mcr until you came into the picture and invited me to their concert. that day in the parking lot, some dude whizzed by me on his bike with mcr on full blast; i wanted to chase after him wtf.

"i've never worried abt being strange. i'm more worried abt being the best i can be" --> thank you for this.