Thursday, July 03, 2008


I'm so not used to having my computer right smack in the family hall.
Currently, it's placed strategically 1 metre away from the kitchen and laundry room, and 5 metres away from my housemate's room (whose door is perpetually opened) and the front door where housemates + random people happily passes through. Didn't chuck it into my rented room as there's no space. Honestly though, the lack of privacy wasn't something that bothered me much. But it did make voice chatting over the net a bit awkward (actually, scratch 'a bit'; it's VERY). I don't know.... I can't be as crappy or random or disgusting as I like, if I had a potential unwilling audience wtf. Especially if it's something that you'd only want your close friends to know. And it sucks because a few of your closest friends' butts are plonked in another country, and both sides are too cheapo to get IDD. Usually I'd wait till everyone's asleep before voice chatting... but too much of a hassle weh.
Like that day, I was talking to hobbitness over MSN voice call, and was telling him some family stuff, which is definitely not what I want my housemates to know. Well... if there's a will, there's a way. And the way is, I needed some super secret nonchalant codename for Mom and Dad.

Hi, Connie and Bob wtf.
God, I'm so brilliant -___-;;;;.
Okay, mystery of life. Before I called hobbitness over MSN, he say he wanna pangsai first. Then later, before I called PY, she say wanna kencing first...... why they all treat me like i'm a three hour movie abt to start TT________TT

Also, hobbitness was in a hot hot hot internet chat with someone else before I called him, and because he's distracted by moi on mic, his sister ended up reading things that sisters aren't -supposed- to know about their ickle brothers. I said, how bad can it be? He pasted the conversation for me to have a look.
.................... AHAHAHAHAHHA funny sial!!!! If I stumbled on my bro chatting like that, wah lau eh, I will go face a corner wide-eyed,  then pour gasoline on my eyes and light a match okay wtf.
Poor hobbit.... -pats head repeatedly- Next time when you menggatal, lock your door, okay?!? It's so morbid that I'm basking in someone's horrified-ness. Well, it's always funny when it happens to someone else la. Sadly, very sadly, it happened to me before. No big surprise, it's me afterall -___-;;. Well, this time, minus the family member relation. And it was a misunderstanding dammit!!!
I think I stumbled into a website about medieval torture methods for suspected witches, and there's this one about 'needles through the victim's perineum' or something la. And I'm like, hmmm, what's a perineum. So I googled and clicked on the image result. Go on. Try googling. Make sure there's no one behind you. It made me go [o_O], wincing and thinking how medieval people are all damn sick bastards.

As I was WTF-ing, my housemate came by my table. And of course, I switched the Firefox tabs asap, so everything is fine and dandy. Okay, now comes the dumb part; He asks me what I was doing. That time I was doing a digital painting in Photoshop, and had some tutorials opened in Firefox. And I accidentally clicked on the 'image results' tab. No matter how fast I clicked the other tab, the damage has been done.

There was this moment of silence.

Then the only thing he said was, "Oh. My. God."
..... orz.  No, seriously. orz. I didn't even try to explain, because things likes these could only get worse.
It's just times like these where all you want to do is to fall on your knees and throw your hands up in the air and ask, "WHY??? WHY ME??!?!"
..... I miss the privacy of my room.


Charl said...

"Before I called hobbitness over MSN, he say he wanna pangsai first. Then later, before I called PY, she say wanna kencing first...... why they all treat me like i'm a three hour movie abt to start"

^ ROFL.....
.(still laughing)

believe it or not, i recently indulged in online sex chat while in the office. and not during lunch hour either. ;) srsly. maybe hobbit feels the thrill of carrying on conversations hot enough to sear the keyboard to a medium-well with the 'threat' of an open door. besides, he knows u're not the kind of girl to squeal in virginal disgust at such exchanges. its not like u caught him wanking off in his room or that wd really be cause to incinerate one's eyeballs.

actually theres a very simple method of avoiding such situations, & one (so i heard) applied by many office workers all over. no, not me, becoz 1:the Mac OSX exposé feature means i can hide windows in a jiffy and 2: my colleagues arent all that nosy. probly half of em indulging in sex chats too lol. how? Fix a small mirror on the top of ur monitor. for both u & darling hobbit, so neither of u needs to catch or be caught engaging in, erm, questionable activity. we all have a sexy dangerous side, be it playing virtual doctor on msn or a fascination with medieval torture porn.

actually i had a short-lived but deep obsession with the guillotine once after watching it on an ducatinal film about the French Revolution. altho, the guillotine is infact one of the most humane execution methods and probably does not involve messing wth the perineum. which i have decided not to Google after all.
oh no, i DID google it. (WHAaT? I COULDNT RESIST) ahhhhhhgggggurrreeeewww. i think my own, err, perineum just shrank in disgust.

and i didnt even google the Images yet. No, I'm DFINITELY nOt googling the images.

gianne said...

charl: wait, you can online chat in your office??? envy! i only have access to gmail chat ;___;. oh well, better than nothing.

hmmm, it's not as mortifying if a friend or a housemate stumbles upon you doing dodgy stuff... it's the family that gives me the major EEeeeEEEeePS!!!!

what the heck, you were obsessed with the guillotine?? wtf. actually it'd be cool if u built a mini one. chopping veggies would be so much more fun.

on a side note, i don't do sex chat at all. it's images of perineum that i should watch out for -____-

Silhouette said...

You do phone sex right? Like the angry kid?

Charl said...

silhouette: are you kidding? you should hear Ms Gianne's sex chat voice. it's a husky purr that sounds like Sharon Stone uncrossing her legs in that famous Basic Instinct scene. Wealthy foreign men who are surrounded by nubile nymphs all the time are reduced to mere puddles at the very sound of her saying "Hello big boy".

(runs and hides because now i've exposed Gianne's other 'career')