Thursday, September 18, 2008

Gluttony says, KARMA, BABY!!!

O, for the love of cheese crackers.... Gluttony has caught up to me (somewhere deep in my brain says: FINALLY!!!! and sends a tingle to my arm to slap forehead), in the form of a luscious muffin top and mesmerizing wobbly upper arms. Well, that happens, when you become more generous with snacks, coupled with the intense desire to NOT exercise.

It didn't help either, that you're feeling under the weather, and you keep reaching out for that bar of chocolate for a glimpse of heaven/orgasm. And that 'I swear it'll be the last one' phrase uttered when you reach out for that piece of delicious morsel?? IT'S A BROKEN RECORDER REPEATING ITSELF!!!1ONE!

Maybe my eyes saw this, but my brain decides to be in denial. Moment of truth came when I saw these self-taken pictures;
I is more cuddly desu, orz.

My arms aren't even pushed against my side, but still so gemuk orz

If black can't even make me appear slimmer... it's time to sound the alarms. PRONTO. And no, I'm not showing off! Bag was an impulse buy, and I realise I'm spending too much hence I'm trying to sell it off wtf....

..... but I'm just so bloody traumatised by my giganto arms!!! -cries- What if this limb of possible mass destruction put people off the sale wtf. Shoot me if I'm being insecure, but the forum is filled with girls who barely skim the 45kg mark, hence, with limbs of an willowy dainty girl orz.

I mean, if I just relax all my arm muscles and let it swing around like a dead weight, there will be a significant number of passerby harmed, and construction companies will look for me to knock down a terrace house wtf.

On the bright side, I -do- wobble my arms when I'm bored. Lotsa secondary action, which is ooooh, interesting!! then orz because fat mah wtf. And people like Anis like to squishy-squish it.

Even if there is a bright side, imma gonna start exercising tomorrow.

How about food intake? I think I'll be more conscious about it, but I'll still want to enjoy mah foooooood..... My lovely Malaysian food~~~ The only reason for the exercise is so that I can enjoy my nasi lemak, yau char kuay, roti planta etc without feeling guilty~~

Imma pat myself on me back for speaking like a true Malaysian.

Monday, September 15, 2008

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle

My heart's not here right now. Apparently it has gone to rehab on some Swiss mountains for a piece of calm artery, and left behind its palpating shell of a heart.

I've been driving up a hill, when my heart was still pounding and hasn't escaped yet. It was racing with adrenaline and the thrill of the effort. That little electricity that runs through your entire body, I was feeling it. The pinnacle was not far off, I'm just nearly there... Then something happens. I got messed up. I got confused with the clutch and accelerator. I struggled to gain control, and at times it accelerated, but mostly and in the end, was merely spluttering up the hill. Then my heart leaves me, and I'm rolling down.

That free falling emptiness. That whistling in your ears. That weight on your limbs.

It's not a nice feeling to not have your heart involved in your life. You just drift through the days in a blurry routine, that has that half-arsed sickening vomit-y feel to it. And you start to resent yourself. A lot. What a disgusting human, who is wasting her time on Earth.

And I'm trying to change this. Very muchly, because it hurts to be like this. This is not what I'm made of. Even if I only have my heart's shadow, a mere fraction of the real thing, it WILL be used. And built upon. Layer by layer. Even if I have to fake this heart, this heart might grow from the palpating shell, and slowly close the unseen hole in my heart.

I simply refuse to be like this.

And I know I'll be relying on my friends, to be listeners.

Anyway, as I was drawing that picture above, then hobbitness INSISTED that I listen to this song; Lenka, The Show.

How apt... really. I love how the lyrics can be sad, but it sounds so upbeat. It just gives me that familar feeling, of someone I knew long time ago. That superbly idealistic girl, bent on truly loving life.

I want her to come back.

* I'm just a little bit
caught in the middle
Life is a maze
and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
I can't do it alone
(I've tried)
and I don't know why

Slow it down
make it stop
or else my heart is going to pop
'cuz it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
to be something I'm not

I am just a little girl
lost in the moment
I'm so scared
but don't show it
I can't figure it out
it's bringing me down
I know
I've got to let it go
and just enjoy the show
Unfinished art. Looks much better as a line art :/ wtf. I'm trying to decide the source of light, so forgive me for the not very logical shadows on the coloured version.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Let us be above them.

...because we're first-class beings. -pats self on head-

Sin Chew Daily journalist Tan Hoon Cheng and  DAP leader Teresa Kok have been arrested under ISA.(RPK too )

I could comment... but not interested to be Captain Obvious wtf.

STAY CALM! I know most of us are feeling raw emotions right now, but don't give any excuse to -them- that could be used against the cause for a better Malaysia

From Malaysia Today;

Remember May 13. The government is trying to use the same methods to make people angry so that if we all take to the streets to protest, it will basically give them a free ticket to arrest more people. So we must be clear on what NOT to do. Let's not fall into their trap.
I am being told many political party leaders are now talking about what is proper to say in public, so when commenting please exercise the same restraint.
Next, we also need to know that RPK has not associated himself to any power or position. He is just like you and me except that he means well, can swear better and can talk louder. So, there is NOTHING for the government to gain by arresting him except to perpetuate their rule and to create the emotions to help them stay in control.
People are not stupid or ignorant anymore. Today, we have the internet and mobile phones. We can always alert each other on the progress. Unlike 1969, when you are thirsty for news, you may get angry and you would go to the streets. Not today.
So stay tuned to the developments as we bring them to you. But please stay cool, keep properly informed and do not over-react.
MT team

Thursday, September 11, 2008

My lezzy lovah


Someone graduated with first class honors and is among the top students in her school. I wonder who. -whistles innocently-

Who is also about to moosey off to UK for her Masters. Very very soon. Like, in less than a week. And won't be back for a year or so. OMG, grown up ady leh! -wipes tear off eye-

It's gonna be kinda surreal for me for a couple of months or so. Confusing, because someone will be missing when I scroll through the list of very few people I'd call/meet-up if I ever plan to jump off the top of KLCC or something wtf. I mean, yea, there's the internet... but simply, nothing beats the person in flesh right in front of you.

It would just feels odd to not be able to lift up the phone and say, see you in an hour, because she'd be 12-hours-plane-ride away.

It's been a long way, huh? From the days of being 1-metre tall brats. who seized every chance we could get to 'gain' authority/alpha female role in that little primary school of bitchy girl drama wtf. From the rebel me who walked away from a game she was 'hosting' to find popular J's 'best friend', to calling each other 'Bodoh' and 'Monyet' (I was in the B class, and her, M class). I think at some point, we disliked each other immensely. She was strong and opinionated even as a young child, and I was a goody-two-shoes (with quite the holier-than-thou attitude wtf). In short, we faced off quite a bit, turned away from each other in a huff and joined our own cliques. Then she moved away in Standard 5.

You'd think that it would be end of the story.... but life has something else planned.

It was the internet, and the Xfresh forum that brought us together again. This time, no nails sharp out from our paws. We were 14 year old, more 'mature' than the 7 year olds we were, okay! On the now sadly-can-be-considered defunct ICQ, we'd chat, crap and bullshit happily away. I just never knew that she'd become one of my closest and trusted friends. My travel buddy. My partner-in-crime when planning/working together for SEALNet Project Malaysia. And how can I forget, my occasional lezzy lovahhhh~~

It's not the same when she moved away in Standard 5; I didn't even blinked an eye because what is she to me? But I'll tell you a different story now... From the squeaky squabbling brats, we've gone far beyond that. We've traveled together, laughed together, worked together, got frustrated with each other and even cried from/with each other. We're so different from each other, and yet similar in some sense. At one point in time, where some events tested my friendship with her, I realised just one thing; how much she means to me as a friend, and how I'd never want to lose that.
Overnights at PY's!In a restaurant. On the rough seas wtf. Even standing in mangroves together la!! (wtf)

Dearest PY, I hope that you'll enjoy every bit of UK and that you'll have a kick-ass time there!! And that you'll find the mental stimulation that you crave for. Just don't become a drunkard T__T. I will send you Milo if you got an itch for it, okay!

*huggles, glomps and much hippo love~~*

I'm gonna miss you, babe TT______TT. You leave me for one year!!! orz.

Okay okay, I'm getting sappy and clingy wtf.

I'll just nullify it with my shoppingness, can kua =DDD

88 eyeshadows dah sampaiiiii!!

My biggest splurge for this month though, is not cosmetics, but for a couple of artbooks that I've been craving madly for ever since I watched the movie. I've been trying to find it for AGES, but everytime I asked in Kinokuniya, it's out of stock... and I'm not willing to pay for it on Ebay Japan/USA because it'll cost me a bomb with the shipping and them overpricing it and all as it's apparently out of print already -___-;. Celaka.

When I thought all was lost... I just happened to go into Kinokuniya again after a long time, and I was walking pass some shelves when something familiar caught my attention, which caused me a minor whiplash.

AND THERE IT WAS!!!! Tekkonkinkreet artbooks!!! Shiro and Kuro!! -jumps jumps jumps-
Plus 20% discount!!! -jumps jumps jumps jumps jumps createsaholeonthefloor!!- It was the beginning of the month, and I was feeling more generous than I should orz. But it's worth it ^^.
"The story takes place in the fictional Takara Machi (宝町 Treasure Town) and centers on a pair of orphaned street kids: the tough, canny Kuro (クロ Black) and the childish, snot-nosed Shiro (シロ White), together known as the Neko (猫 Cats), as they deal with Yakuza attempting to take over Takara Machi." - Wikipedia (because i is too lazy to write)
Amazing, and jaw dropping background designs... My mind just reels from the amount of meticulous details in these pieces.

Then the colours. Oh the mood for the movie is just beautiful. There's a childish colourful retro-ness to it that hints of a vibrant city, and yet the colourfulness suggest a sort of madness to it. Where you can't find a peace of mind.

And for these cities, the designs seems to bring the cultures of the world together in one place. The rawness of the congestive buildings of Hong Kong, the small quaint shops/cafes of Japan, the Asian Hindu deities that has clockwork in them, the Big Ben-like clocktower with Asian designs on it plus neon lights, and also....

Can see? Top left corner....

OASIS - Restoran dan (W)ayang Kulit

Nah, the 'W'... I not lies!

Yay, Malaysia!

In colour yo!

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Ahmad Ismail, you make me hurl.

Ahmad did it again, told Chinese not be American Jews
Sep 8, 08 8:52pm
Penang Umno leader Ahmad Ismail, the man at the centre of the 'racial slur' controversy, warned Chinese Malaysians not to mimic American Jews who not only seek to control the country's economy but also its political power.

In an explosive 50-minute press conference, Ahmad who claimed time and again that he was not a racist, vowed that he would not apologise for his remarks which sparked the controversy.

"While it is not difficult to say sorry - for the sake of my Malay dignity, I resolve not to apologise no matter what others may say. I am willing to take the risk (for not doing so)," he said in a 14-page statement.

The press conference, which was held at the Penang Umno headquarters this afternoon, ended with shouts of 'Hidup Melayu' from about 50 local party leaders who were there.

Soon after the event, former Penang Umno committee member Zainol Abidin Hashim, with the help from his colleagues pulled down the photo of Gerakan acting president Dr Koh Tsu Koon which adorned one of the walls in the party headquarters.

Koh's picture frame, which sat next to the photos of the Penang governor and his wife, was subsequently smashed.

As the glass broke into pieces, Zainol removed Koh's photo from the frame and tore it into half.

Koh, who is former Penang chief minister, has been trading barbs with Ahmad, the Bukit Bendera Umno division chief, over the issue.

In a hastily-organised press conference at 10.30pm, Koh announced that Penang Gerakan had decided to cut all ties with its counterpart effective immediately.

Ahmad: Take this as a warning

Earlier, Ahmad told the minority Chinese not to go overboard in hurting the feelings of the Malays and Muslims.

"I want them to know, I want them to take this as a warning from the Malays. Malays and Muslims have been provoked many times. We have been patient because we want to maintain stability in the country," he said.

"Remember! The patience of Malays and Muslims has its limits. Do not push us to the wall, where we will be forced to reject the Chinese for the sake of our survival.

"If what I say sounds too strong for BN, take this as a warning from the Malays and Muslims as this has nothing to do with Umno. Do not pressure Umno leaders until they are caught in a dilemma."

He then sounded a dire warning to Koh and Gerakan.

"I want Koh Tsu Koon and Gerakan to take responsibility for whatever untoward incidents that could happen in this country of ours."

Ahmad also called upon BN leaders to "kick Gerakan out" from the ruling coalition.

'PM asked me to hold this PC'

The Bukit Bendera Umno chief said that he was asked by Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi to hold "another press conference".

Ahmad previously held a press conference last Friday in which he reiterated that he would not apologise for his remarks.

Abdullah (photo, right), who had earlier told the powerful local Umno leader to do so, was silent on the issue the next day when he met with Penang Umno leaders, including Ahmad.

Ahmad, who was backed by all 13 Umno divisions in Penang - Abdullah's home state - thanked the prime minister for his "understanding".

The controversy erupted after Ahmad had allegedly said that the "Chinese were immigrants squatting in this country" at a ceramah during the recent Permatang Pauh by-election campaign.

The speech caused Ahmad to come under heavy fire from Chinese-based political parties, particularly from Umno's allies MCA and Gerakan over the past two weeks. A spate of police reports were also lodged against the Umno division leader.

Ahmad nevertheless argued that his remark was taken out of context by Chinese-language Sin Chew Daily as he was referring to historical events.

PM, DPM to meet Ahmad

At the press conference, Ahmad also urged the different states to hold a gathering of the whole ummah (Muslim community).

"Let us not let it go to waste as the flames of anger among Malays and Muslims has reached new heights. Let us take embrace this anger and come together as Malays and Muslims throughout the land so that we can turn the voices of the Malays into one that will unite all Malays and Muslims into one single movement."

In an immediate reaction, both Abdullah and Deputy Prime Minister Najib Razak are expected to meet Ahmad tomorrow. It is believed that action could be taken against the Umno leader. - Link


PM to Ahmad Ismail: Explain, or face action


No more chances to explain!!! He had his chance and burnt it, along with the feelings of non-Malay Malaysians like me. Take away his title, toss him out of the party and into jail for these extremely seditious words! If BN wants to ever redeem themselves in the eyes of Malaysians, this should be done and NO EXCUSES FROM THEM AS WELL! Let it be known to that people like him will not be tolerated at all. There should not be double-standards.

"Let us not let it go to waste as the flames of anger among Malays and Muslims has reached new heights. Let us take embrace this anger and come together as Malays and Muslims throughout the land so that we can turn the voices of the Malays into one that will unite all Malays and Muslims into one single movement."

So sick. Nothing good ever comes out from a community united together by anger and hatred. I know many good Muslims and he mocks them. He mocks the very premise of Islam, the teaching of tolerance and peace... best of all, on the holy month of Ramadhan.

It takes so long to build this tower of tolerance and trust, and it takes just one idiot in 3 press conferences to wiggle the brick in its foundation. Dah lah sudah bergoyang... nak remove lagi!

Celaka bodoh sial!!! Really need to be sepak-ed already!

Saya anak Malaysia. Heck, my Malay language skill is better than my Chinese. I don't harbour thoughts to run off to China. I cheered for Chong Wei instead of Lin Dan in the Olympics. I grew up in Malaysian society. I was educated in government schools (where everyone was ready to dash out for recess to be in time to get that limited bowl of laksa wtf and where we would frantically 'whiten' our canvas shoes with chalk before teachers check on us). I could spot a Malaysian from a crowd of 100 in a foreign country and likewise. What makes me different? So, don't make me feel as though I'm inferior and that I should accept this inferiority because my grandparents were 'kaum pendatang'. It's like, hey! You're Malaysian!!! But not enough.

I know that I'm enough. We all are.

Ahmad Ismail, you're a disgrace to all right-minded Malays and Muslims, and most of all, a disgust to all Malaysians.