Thursday, September 18, 2008

Gluttony says, KARMA, BABY!!!

O, for the love of cheese crackers.... Gluttony has caught up to me (somewhere deep in my brain says: FINALLY!!!! and sends a tingle to my arm to slap forehead), in the form of a luscious muffin top and mesmerizing wobbly upper arms. Well, that happens, when you become more generous with snacks, coupled with the intense desire to NOT exercise.

It didn't help either, that you're feeling under the weather, and you keep reaching out for that bar of chocolate for a glimpse of heaven/orgasm. And that 'I swear it'll be the last one' phrase uttered when you reach out for that piece of delicious morsel?? IT'S A BROKEN RECORDER REPEATING ITSELF!!!1ONE!

Maybe my eyes saw this, but my brain decides to be in denial. Moment of truth came when I saw these self-taken pictures;
I is more cuddly desu, orz.

My arms aren't even pushed against my side, but still so gemuk orz

If black can't even make me appear slimmer... it's time to sound the alarms. PRONTO. And no, I'm not showing off! Bag was an impulse buy, and I realise I'm spending too much hence I'm trying to sell it off wtf....

..... but I'm just so bloody traumatised by my giganto arms!!! -cries- What if this limb of possible mass destruction put people off the sale wtf. Shoot me if I'm being insecure, but the forum is filled with girls who barely skim the 45kg mark, hence, with limbs of an willowy dainty girl orz.

I mean, if I just relax all my arm muscles and let it swing around like a dead weight, there will be a significant number of passerby harmed, and construction companies will look for me to knock down a terrace house wtf.

On the bright side, I -do- wobble my arms when I'm bored. Lotsa secondary action, which is ooooh, interesting!! then orz because fat mah wtf. And people like Anis like to squishy-squish it.

Even if there is a bright side, imma gonna start exercising tomorrow.

How about food intake? I think I'll be more conscious about it, but I'll still want to enjoy mah foooooood..... My lovely Malaysian food~~~ The only reason for the exercise is so that I can enjoy my nasi lemak, yau char kuay, roti planta etc without feeling guilty~~

Imma pat myself on me back for speaking like a true Malaysian.


Miss Anis said...

*squisheeeeee eee*

a w e n g said...

"chocolate bar for a glimpse of heaven/orgasm" <- LoL but true. Orgasm indeed. Chocolate 'is Naice' (borat style) hehea :P

Charl said...

Omg that is a rockin bag. nice nice ...(am a sucker for shiny patent leather + studs)

2 bad i alrdy hv like 4 other bags in my closet i hv yet to use. 2 frm my cousin sis's reject collection lol, & 2 impulse buys. otherwise i would probly purchase it frm ya. though i'm trying to get away frm oversized bags coz, stylish & lovable as they are, they can get a tad unwieldy. plus u hv to dig around in them a lot for a pack of tisu or 1 crummy lipstick. but for a carry-all person like u, it's defnitely just right.

big arms? incidentally, i too hv been suffering a chip in my self esteem due to my damned arms! yes, u are not alone! thousands of girls with otherwise lovely bods are tortured by the sight of their thunder arms. and yours is very much in the moderate section still. altho i must say, u r very smart to take that photo (the one w the bag) in such a lightin & position that u manage to make it look like muscle rather than spare weight. I'm sure there is indeed some muscle there, since u r not exactly the softie weakling type. i know *i* hv quite a bit of muscle in my own arms but they are hopelessly obscured by the annoying flabby substance that is, as any fitness trainer wil tell ya, notoriously hard ot get rid off.

and the chocolate.. why does chocolate have such a bad reputation? dont people realise it's not the choc itself that is evil, but all the milk-&-sugar crap they put in it?? HINT: eat dark chocolate. the endorphin feel-good rush is stronger, the antioxidants r more concentrated, & best of all the fat content is minuscule. go for those wth roughly 30% of sugar. that means the other 70% is pure, rich, yummy goodness both in taste & in health benefits.

(i'm nota kidding. ask any health expert/dietician worth their salt, they'll say the same.)

think of it this way (to motivate urself): milk chocs are for kiddies and little girls with lollipop smears on their lips. dark chocs are for sexy women who can hv flawed upper arms & still be attractive. =)

dont cut the chocolate. cut the sugar! (and while u're at it, eat Oreos and throw away the cream! LoLoL)

for more fitness tips.... do NOT come at me. do i look like a modern Jane Fonda? bahaha. i'm as much in the guilt pool as u are, possibly even more becoz on most days i just dont give a fuck.

did i mention i hv a dance performance coming up and a spangly skimpy costume to wear? will i terrorize the audience with the sight of my colossal arms? find out soon!! (ta-dah-dum...)

Oh & btw, that photo captioned "I is more cuddly desu, orz" sexay. srsly. take a 2nd look -- u hv ur eyes coyly averted, and it looks like u'r abt to swing your hair in slo-mo in one of those quintessential movie scenes where th whole world comes to a halt for one woman. hahahahaaa

and wtf is 'desu' anyway??

- - - - - -

also, why the fuck are all my comments so long-winded?


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gianne said...

anis: mr woel keeps jiggling my arm, then laughing maniacally after that wtf.

aweng-in-kangarooland: i havent watch borat! bt jyes, chocolates are heavenly...

charl: hahah i so prefer dark chocolates now! i dont know, as a kid i'd go for the milkiest, sweetest chocolate i can find, but now i'm content with the almost pure taste of cocoa. wait, does this mean that i'm growing old?? it's like, i dont need those pretentious shit anymore, gimme the real deal!

i think we both should get out of the guilt pool. it's not abt letting ourselves go. more like letting our need to impress go wtf.

but then again, like i'll follow my own advice la hahaha