Wednesday, April 20, 2011


for all the closeness we used to have -

you were someone i knew and barely know now.

time and time again, thinking about the past wrung my heart in agony... but when i spoke to you just now, it feels that the part i had for you is dead. 'dead' not in a heart wrenching way. it's in a way that it didn't recognise you anymore.

but know this; i couldn't give you half of what you have given to me. for that, i'm immensely grateful to you.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Boring blow-by-blow account of mundane life 001

An attempt for a so-called daily journal.

Or I just want to write this because I'd rather babble in writing, as opposed to having a victim to listen.

     The past few weeks had been busier week than usual; my extended family and us decided to gift my grandma a slideshow on her life. Being the only artsy-fartsy one in the family, the task of compiling all the photographs into a nice little slideshow fell into my hands. And I didn't mind; I was thrilled that I could do something for my grandma. The photo collection were the task for my mom, aunts and uncle. Confession ahead - What was supposed to be passed to me were scanned pictures. I was quite annoyed because of a misunderstanding, hard-copy photographs were given to me instead. In short, I have to scan it in my perceived limited time. Luckily, my cousin and brother helped to scan a majority of it.

     Despite my grumpiness, it was really fascinating to flip through old pictures of my grandmother. A reminder that she was once young, someone who exist without the name 'Popo' or 'Ma'. Leafing through the bundle of photographs, we see her journey from a newly wedded wife in a simple borrowed dress (they were really poor), to a first time mom, a youthful but slightly harried looking mom with 3 children, then 5; her posing in the garden, taking a walk in the park with her four daughters and a child from the family she was working for (she was a maid) and attending her first child's wedding.. and so on.

Stories frozen in time.

     It was also a reminder that time will fall on us all. I saw an old photograph of a certain older person I know, and my first thought was, Whoa, she's kinda hot wtf. In a Marilyn Monroe's white halter dress. Something like that. And now, well, she's nearing 80 and you just can't compare that to the youthfulness of the earlier photograph. Sorta struck me how we won't look better than we do now. That's a sweeping generalisation though; sometimes not everyone look good in their youth, but as they grow older, their facial features mellow out and grow into something more 'comfortable'. Saying that, there's always the pinnacle I think.

     In short, the initial plan for the slides was more ambitious than its results; due to the busy nature of everyone. For example, we planned to put captions, but it was sort of rushed and people were busy. Deadlines were set and missed. I don't blame them; I get caught up in my own life too. If I taken the lead well, I'm sure it would had been better.

     It was a rush to render it (1.5 hours to render the whole 20 minutes of it), to borrow a projector at the last minute (my uncle's; two days before the party, they found out it wasn't working), find out that my CD burner was acting up and the CD turned up empty (because we thought that we had to play it on a DVD player if a projector can't be found) and a last minute change which didn't happen (wasted time waiting for the changes).


On the bright side, my grandma was touched by it... she said she was trying to hold in her tears after the video played.

It will be an ongoing project... we will add in more photographs and the captions as planned. ^_^ To speak to my grandma and jot down her memories. She has an amazing memory for a 80 year old person.

     Then, around the same time, someone in my (sorta) new workplace approached me to join the Games Committee for an upcoming office party. So we were thinking up ideas for games, brainstorming and all. It was really fun to get into the mode of brainstorming for ideas, how to tweak existing games, the 'punishments' (best part!) etc.

     Though, I think I might have overstressed myself on the tiny details; who would be distributing the newspapers? How will the grouping for this game be done? Could we practice more on the 'game master' explaining the game to the audience, or in bad case scenarios, what would plan B be? Even if it's something that should be said, how you deliver it matters too, and in that, I can fall on my face really bad. I did feel like I might be forcing my idea of how game planning should be like. So I tried really hard to just relax and let things flow.

     Before we could sort the details out, suddenly the date of the party was pushed earlier. As in, it gives us 4 days to finalise the plans, research questions for the games and buy the prizes. While 4 days may seem a lot, we were on production, and on my part, I fell sick that time ugh. Ran to the doc for meds because it would had been really shoddy to not be around to pull my weight in the team.

     And so the party was yesterday, which was held at Luna Bar. The theme for the party was formal for the top half and beach wear for the bottom half, and so I dug out my old Limkokwing garb and found that it was a tighter fit than before. Damn. Either I lay off the chocolates and yummy food or must exercise more. Probably the latter, because hell would freeze over before I become a calorie counting person wtf.

      Got caught in a jam prior to reaching there because my colleague Sam and me picked a guitar from his church and took a gamble on a seemingly-jam-free road. Let's just say, bad gamble on that, but the 2nd gamble made it all good again. All in all, it's 2 hours on the road.

     Anyway, got there, changed and nearly gave myself an extra pupil while putting on my eyeliner. Gosh, haven't been wearing makeup since I left my old job... which is about 7 months ago? Can't blame me for being fiddly and nervous of having lop sided eyes wtf, kena tumbuk. Emma and Xuan looked super gorgeous in their get up! Loved Xuan's outfit a lot; she had this feminine but quietly structured top that combined flamenco and office, and she wrapped a scarf of hers as a sarong, and wore fierce teal heels. Oh, and 3 of us has something teal in our outfits. Awesome cakes~

     Ate not much but still had time to grab a chocolate dessert wtf. It's mousse. SO GOOD. Won something from the lucky draw! Mandeep said that it was rigged LOL. Had a little Marilyn Monroe moment at one of the booths where they had an air vent. My long skirt became revealing wtf (it's a wrap-around skirt - teal with golden dolphins!). Wanted to try doing her infamous shot, but I don't dare wtf. Audrey wore pants and sat on it with satisfaction LOL. Envy, because it was kinda hot there T_T.

     The games went quite well; there were hiccups, but nothing major. It was good to see people laughing at the Telephone Charades game! As the game started, it was the window period where Bryant, Ngai Charm and me have to mark the questionnaires so we'd know who would win the Ipod Shuffle by the next game to give out the prize. Since all of us have to be involved in the next game, this was the only good time.

     It was pretty cool to find out that all 3 of us used to be teachers LOL. Now wielding 2B pencils on the 2nd floor of a bar in a dark corner and rapidly marking through the questionnaires! And my teacher-sense tingled and got a little indignant on copied answers... Oi. =P

Basically the questionnaire was sorta unknown facts from our colleagues and party attendees have to guess/find out whose fact is it. Eg: "I used to train to be an athlete and went to a premier sports school in the country." or "I used to weight half my weight 4 years ago" etc.

We only had until 11pm for the place and by the time the last game ended, it was nearly there. Didn't manage to give out the other lucky draw prizes, but they will do so on Monday. Prashant gave a speech, thanked the games committee and someone from our team managed to divert the crowd's attention in 'punishing' us for what we put them through XD to the fact that it was Matt K's birthday and he was given a traditional company bump instead =D.

As other people say their goodbyes and stayed back for a chat, the games team tossed away the horrid 'punishment' concoction that Bryant the Bartender From Hell mixed up, packed up our game/prizes and stuff etc and lugged it down to the car where Intan, Jason and Fouzan were going back to the office to unload the stuff. Props to them because they did a LOT.

There's this sense of relief and satisfaction. I'm glad I was part of this team... it was fun doing this, and to see our efforts materialise just feels nice. Good exercise on the noggins too!  The relief comes from having one less ball to juggle hehe.

When I went back up to the bar again, the office peeps pretty much cleared out the place except for Siew Lai and a Matchmove guy. Mark W came up with me because he misplaced 'something' =X. Couldn't find it yet, so he just gave his number to one of the people there if they do find it; and he accompanied me as I paid my parking ticket. Chivalry =D

On the way home, I hankered for McDs and stopped by the nearby one (Yes yes, I know how chemical-y it is and how it would get in shape (round) but whatevs). Meant to go for the drive-through, but when I found the Elusive Parking Space, and I couldn't let it go to waste! Brought a book in with me (Four Arguments For the Elimination of Television) and read it while I munch on the fries (which tasted sorta funky monkey). It was kinda nice. A little quiet time after a buzz of social activities.

Reached home at nearly 1am and crashed, awake, in my room. Might had scared my brother's girlfriend when she walked into the bathroom that connects the two rooms, because I heard a click from the door and was in such a sleepy daze that I just got up from the floor and put my chin on my bed and stared blankly at the door wtf. She had the classic WHAT THE look on her face. I swear I'm not this creepy at other times.

Finally dragged myself to the shower and then slept at 4am.

......... Andddd that's my attempt at a plain ol' what-I-did daily/weekly/random journal. Don't think anyone would read this, but I'd be interested in it when I'm old and probably forgot about this. So, to my future self reading this; take up some memory classes, will ya? SHEESH =P (+1 cool point if you wave your fist now and yell, "Dangnabbit, ya young'ins!!!")