Saturday, March 16, 2013

Falls and losses

After giving me way more slack without warning on my first lead's drop, he asks me, "So how do you feel? Exhilarated? Scary?" 

Still shaken, "How do I feel? Like punching you in the face -___-"

All in good cheer though.. I need to fall more anyway, so fear won't paralyse me.

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Was talking to my friend about losses. Of people dear to us. Thoughts to write down before I forget it: 

I thought about how deaths affect people, and how it sometimes make life hollow and pointless. Perhaps I wasn't that close to my friend to be utterly devastated to not see, but she shouldn't be the reason for that state of life. When I think about her, her genuine alert soul with an amazing heart always look back at me...She would want the people who cared for her to be happy, and if they weren't on the account of her, I could already hear her saying, "Oh, you're being silly..." with that firm and gentle voice.

My heart always soften when I think of her. Of how grateful I am for what she has given me, even if she knows it or not. How she opens my heart to my own self, and a reminder that someone, bigger than us all, have plans for us. We just have to listen more carefully. Always be aware and awake and alert. 

Oh, why do good people die young? She was so wise, and she could do a lot more goodness on Earth, Then I think, well, you know, maybe... just maybe, precisely because they are so good. They don't have to reach a higher point. But for the rest of us alive, we still do. The time we have is in order that we would grow and improve. That's how I see it anyway.

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